forum I'll critique your characters!!

Started July 28, 2018 by @purpleconverse

tune

Just link me your character(s) and I'll critique them! ;)

Hey uh I guess you can check out my character Dorian

Let me know what you think I'm not very good at writing yet but you get better with critique and practice, amirite?
If something doesn't make sense be sure to tell me.

These two are the main husband/wife duo in this musical I'm writing… could you critique them? I'd like to know what I should do to make them a convincing couple, how I can make them strong characters in their own right, etc.

Louie:

Cynthia:

Here's my boi he's a piece of crap but I love him

he's already highly developed so here's a link to another character if you want more haha she's optional though, i'm more focused on getting the smallest details of my boi
anyway here's my girl she's annoying but a v good person deep down

Could you critique Rie? Here's the link; Rie Katayama

Could you look at Ellen please?

Hey uh I guess you can check out my character Dorian

Let me know what you think I'm not very good at writing yet but you get better with critique and practice, amirite?
If something doesn't make sense be sure to tell me.

okay here is what i think…
~I think you should tell why she was called Psycho and all the other nicknames. Readers love details.
~For her height and age, she is extremely underweight. The normal weight for her would be around 110 lbs.
~This one isn't big but i think it would be interesting to say how she normally wears her hair. For example, does she keep in up in a messy bun or a tight ponytail? or does she just keep it down and untamed?
~ Don't be afraid to go into more details in the body type section! How bony or muscled is she and in what places? Does she have big thighs or bony wrist? Let your imagination go crazy
~ It would be cool to know where her bruises and cuts were and how big they are. Like does she have large scars on her chest or little cuts on her face?
~ I think you need more details in mannerisms. How does she carry herself? What does she do when she gets nervous? Just those types of things

Overall you just need more details. I can't see her in my head and you want your readers to feel like they have known that person all their life. Remember, you can only improve. You got this <3

These two are the main husband/wife duo in this musical I'm writing… could you critique them? I'd like to know what I should do to make them a convincing couple, how I can make them strong characters in their own right, etc.

Louie:

Cynthia:

Together I think they fit perfectly!! Different yet so alike, I really do love them as a couple…

Louie:
Personally i love him. The way you described him was as if I have met him before.The only thing is that there are different views of Christianity. I think you should share how he believes. For example, is he Baptist? Catholic? Apostolic? Don't be afraid to share someone's belief even if others don't believe that way. Same goes for Cynthia.

Cynthia:
This is the girl that every great book needs!!! I love how strong and witty she is! I personally love the mannerisms section and her views on politics. The only thing is that you need to fill out her body type category more. Readers love details!

Overall i love both of their characters! Great job! I truly love them!

Here's my boi he's a piece of crap but I love him

he's already highly developed so here's a link to another character if you want more haha she's optional though, i'm more focused on getting the smallest details of my boi
anyway here's my girl she's annoying but a v good person deep down

I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!!!! There are only a couple things I'd look at…
What does he do when he's sad? What are some bad habits (besides drinking) does he have? Like is he a nail biter? Does he push away people when he is sad? Pretty awesome job in this category though.
I love the name "Shinel" for his race. For a peaceable people (with blue skin) it fits. I also love how you went into detail in the religion section!! I like how it all came together and how most siblings or couples were opposites!

Overall i think you are a very talented writer and i can't wait to see this character come alive on pages!

Here's my boi he's a piece of crap but I love him

he's already highly developed so here's a link to another character if you want more haha she's optional though, i'm more focused on getting the smallest details of my boi
anyway here's my girl she's annoying but a v good person deep down

I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!!!! There are only a couple things I'd look at…
What does he do when he's sad? What are some bad habits (besides drinking) does he have? Like is he a nail biter? Does he push away people when he is sad? Pretty awesome job in this category though.
I love the name "Shinel" for his race. For a peaceable people (with blue skin) it fits. I also love how you went into detail in the religion section!! I like how it all came together and how most siblings or couples were opposites!

Overall i think you are a very talented writer and i can't wait to see this character come alive on pages!

Also i love Myst with all of my heart!!!

could you look at this character for me?

Could you look at Ellen please?

I honestly really like her! She seems that she'll have a great story unfold! I didn't see anything that would need changing. I would get a second opinion (I'm not the best) but she seems ready to go!

Thank you!

could you look at this character for me?

This dude could use some work…

~Who calls him what? Do different people call him different things?
~ He is SEVERELY under-weight. Especially for a male this height.
~ He needs more details in body type. Does he have large hands or small arms? Don't be afraid to put in more details!
~ What does he do when he's sad or mad or frustrated? Does he push people away? What does he do?
~ There are different types of Christianity. Is he Baptist? Catholic? Apostolic?
~ Why is he psycho?? Why does he call himself Christian and then go murder a CHILD? What drives him to be the way he is?

Quite frankly, your character is dull and could use some work. Don't give up, just keep trying.

Invalid Character can you critique my gal Sam? She's brand new so i'd love some input.

could you look at this character for me?

This dude could use some work…

~Who calls him what? Do different people call him different things?
~ He is SEVERELY under-weight. Especially for a male this height.
~ He needs more details in body type. Does he have large hands or small arms? Don't be afraid to put in more details!
~ What does he do when he's sad or mad or frustrated? Does he push people away? What does he do?
~ There are different types of Christianity. Is he Baptist? Catholic? Apostolic?
~ Why is he psycho?? Why does he call himself Christian and then go murder a CHILD? What drives him to be the way he is?

Quite frankly, your character is dull and could use some work. Don't give up, just keep trying.

Ok! Thanks, I'll work on making him better and more interesting.

How are my ladies?

How are my ladies?

Guinevere:
First off I love that name!! I think it fits her personality!
~For a human being 7'2, she is severely underweight. It would be different if she was from a different non-human race.
~ I would love to see more details in the body type section. For example, does she had big thighs or broad shoulders? Just more details would be nice.
~ If I were you, I'd go into more details in the mannerisms section. What does she do when normally speaking to someone? Does she fidget with her hands a lot or hold eye contact a lot? I think that would be fun to know.
~ How does her family motivate her? Does she desire to protect them? Or does she feel the need to inspire them?

Sharla:
I like this character and what motivates her. There's just two things I'd think about…
~ How does she normally wear her hair? Does it get in her face? Does she put it in a easy bun or leave it down?
~ Don't be afraid to go into more details body type! Does she have bony wrists or a hip dips? The more details, the better. The more details, the more you know your character. If you can see your character in your mind doing day to day things, the write it all down! Every detail counts!

Love your characters and I'm eager to see them come to life in your story!!

Invalid Character can you critique my gal Sam? She's brand new so i'd love some in
All i can say is… woah. I love Sam. She's a strong independent woman. I truly love her! The only tiny detail is that i would put in a bit more details in the body type section. Other than that i love her.

Could someone look at my character Rie for me? Here's the link; Rie Katayama

@purpleconverse Thank you so much for the critique! I realize now that I used a BMI calculator for another character and didn't think to check my numbers for everyone else. Also, how do I describe female bodies in more detail? I'm afraid that I might accidentally fetishize them because I really have no clue what I'm doing. I see how they look in my mind, but I don't know how to explain it without sounding… weird.

@purpleconverse Thank you so much for the critique! I realize now that I used a BMI calculator for another character and didn't think to check my numbers for everyone else. Also, how do I describe female bodies in more detail? I'm afraid that I might accidentally fetishize them because I really have no clue what I'm doing. I see how they look in my mind, but I don't know how to explain it without sounding… weird.

I understand completely! I often worry about that too. What i do is usually start at my characters face and work my way down (if that makes sense).
~Describe their face structure (oval, round, square, narrow chin, strong jaw, etc..)
~ Describe their arms/shoulders (broad shoulders, lightly muscled, large biceps, veiny arms, bony wrist, etc..)
~Describe their torso (large chest, small chest, full waist, hip dips, thin waist, etc..) disclaimer ALL BODY TYPES ARE BEAUTIFUL
~Describe their legs/bottom half (thick thighs, strong calves, big booty, long legs, chubby legs, etc..)
Don't be afraid to describe your characters!!

@purpleconverse Thank you so much for the critique! I realize now that I used a BMI calculator for another character and didn't think to check my numbers for everyone else. Also, how do I describe female bodies in more detail? I'm afraid that I might accidentally fetishize them because I really have no clue what I'm doing. I see how they look in my mind, but I don't know how to explain it without sounding… weird.

I understand completely! I often worry about that too. What i do is usually start at my characters face and work my way down (if that makes sense).
~Describe their face structure (oval, round, square, narrow chin, strong jaw, etc..)
~ Describe their arms/shoulders (broad shoulders, lightly muscled, large biceps, veiny arms, bony wrist, etc..)
~Describe their torso (large chest, small chest, full waist, hip dips, thin waist, etc..) disclaimer ALL BODY TYPES ARE BEAUTIFUL
~Describe their legs/bottom half (thick thighs, strong calves, big booty, long legs, chubby legs, etc..)
Don't be afraid to describe your characters!!

Thank you! This helps quite a bit!

@purpleconverse wow thanks!