forum I'll Critique Your Characters!
Started by Deleted user
tune
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people_alt 9 followers

Deleted user

Hi, I'm here to critique you guys' characters. I can't promise that I can do all of them, but I'll at least try. Also, I'm not the most reliable source for critiques but I'll try my best!

@Demoness Kneesocks

I´d love if you could do her. Also for a little context on the story: Myths are a race of old beings who´ve blended into the world as the myths and legends we know and survive by eating humans once every week/two weeks. In the story they´re the main focus and portrayed in a sympathetic light and the majority are attractive or do their best to be perceived as such because it´s how they catch their prey, humans.

@captaintrashposts

A little bit of background infor on her story: She is a talented witch who grew up in a magically oppressive society, but as she gets older she hides the use of her powers less and less. she soon gets in trouble with the enforcers (cops, the law or whatevs). when she escapes punishment she gets roped up into the rebellion and though she believes in the cause, she doesnt really want to fight for it.

Deleted user

@"Demoness Kneesocks" (Nice profile pic btw)

  • The image used on the character's profile doesn't have much in common with the description. It mentions that she bleaches her hair, despite the fact that the image shows her hair to be a part of her head.
  • The darling thing in the mannerisms section and the children's storybook given to her by her mother reminds me of zero two from darling in the franxx
  • It says that she cares for her son, but likes to see humans suffer. I have no issue with this, but it needs to be a bit more descriptive. What if her son befriends a human? What if her son has a crush on a human? What happens to her son when she gets drunk?
  • Really interesting! I like the idea of a succubus author who cares for her son!
  • That's all I could really think of!

@Demoness Kneesocks

Thanks for the help on my character, I´ll be sure to take your critique into account :)

(BTW that is her monster form I drew, yeah I´m not exactly an artist when it comes to drawing hahaha)

Deleted user

@writelikeyourerunningoutoftime

  • The favorite animal portion of the profile is written in the past tense (Unless it was intended to be written like that)
  • Talking a lot isn't really a flaw. I suggest saying something along the lines of "talks too much" or "Talks so often that she annoys her friends"
  • It doesn't mention her grandmother under the family section
    Otherwise a pretty decent character!

@WriteOutofTime

Thanks! I can clear up at least two of the three critiques:
1) It's not past tense. I said "She'd like dolphins" as in "She would like dolphins." If you read her backstory, you'll see that she lives in an underground society. So, no dolphins. But if she knew about dolphins, she'd love them!
2) I'll keep that in mind :)
3) The family section is a way to link family members that are already preexisting characters. Since her grandmother is dead and her parents are so inconsequential to the story, I didn't make them character profiles. So there was no way to mention her grandmother in the family section. That's why I mentioned her…in like every other section.

Thanks anyway :D