forum I'll Critique Characters!
Started by Angel
tune

people_alt 44 followers

Angel

@Eren
What shade of red? Russet? Crimson?
Is it a sleek ponytail? Messy ponytail?
Any specific shade of blue?
Big or small scar?
Does she do anything when she’s flustered? When she’s nervous? Excited?
Does she have any hidden talents? Drawing? Cooking?
Specific shade of blue?
What are these ‘many things’ she’s mentored in?

Otherwise good, intruiging, I like her profession a lot :)

Angel

@kai
What shade of red are her eyes?
What kind of scars?
I would add more mannerisms for different emotions
Definitely add more flaws. Is she too outspoken? Hot headed? Pessimistic?
Any other hobbies? Or does she just steal all the time?
Why are the royals wrong?
Big knife? Small knife?
She is slightly Mary-sueish. I would add more distinctive features to make her stand out from other ‘troubled knife wielders’

Good start! I would start to elaborate more on her personality and flesh out her backstory and motives.

Angel

@Gisela
I would try to add more mannerisms. What does she do when she’s excited? Nervous?
I would also add more flaws. Is she hot-headed? Too loud?
Does she have any more talents? Can she cook? Play sport? Paint?
Expand on her personality. Is she gentle? Caring? Lazy?
Specific shade of green?
What colour is the notebook? Is it leather backed? Hard back?
Knowledge of what?
What year was she born?

Very interesting! Love the backstory, but I would try to add more to the personality.

Angel

@pastelpearls
Dense freckles? Sparse freckles?
What does he draw? Does he sing his own songs?
Why doesn’t he care about religion or politics?
What does he study as school? Which subjects are his favourite/least favourite?
If you’re going by English high schools (just presuming) there’s only 5 years. I would elaborate on what region the school is based on.
What colour is the dog and bracelet? What is the bracelet made from?
What year was he born?
What colour is his cat?

Good so far, I would just add specific details to the points and information you've giving. Interesting character?

Angel

@Flowerfur
Deep violet? Pale violet?
What kind of blonde? Platinum blonde? Ashy blonde?
Any texture to her hair? Sleek? Frizzy?
What shape of stripe? Where?
I would add more mannerisms. What does she do when she’s excited? Angry? Content?
Add more flaws. Is she outspoken? Hot headed? Does she talk over people?
Does she do anything else? Paint? Draw? Sing?
Expand on her personality. Is she gentle? Caring? Sweet? Good natured?
What shade of pink?
What is the necklace made of? Why is it important to her?
How does she use her fire?
What year was she born?
What is ‘Skyla’?

Good start. She definitely needs to be fleshed out in her personality, but interesting so far and I like her name :)

Angel

@Lazarus
Rusty what?
Is her hair messy? Frizzy? How long is it?
What shade of purple? How do the purple and black go together?
Expand on ‘pudgy’
How big is the scar?
Add more mannerisms. What does she do when she’s happy? Excited? Scared? Angry?
How does she cause misfortune?
Does she not have any other hobbies? Writing? Painting? Sport? Cooking?
Specific shade of grey?
Expand on her possession.
Is it a long dagger? Small dagger?
What does she study?
How did her parents die?

You have the base of the character there, however it definitely needs to be more detailed. Try to think about more aspects of personality and don't limit her to 'crying'

@pastelpearls

@Angel thanks, I'll work on everything you mentioned! Also he lives in Scotland and goes to a scottish school, and there it works a bit different, you get primary school which starts at primary 1 and goes up to primary 7 and then after that, secondary school which starts at 1st year and goes up to 6th year. I'll try and make that clearer on his profile

Angel

@Robin_Jones
What shade of red/ginger? Auburn? Fiery red?
What shade of blue?
Expand on hairstyle. Messy? Straight? Frizzy?
How pale?
Dense freckles? Sparse freckles?
Add more mannerisms. What does he do when he’s excited? Angry? Sad? Happy?
What about his family?
Add more flaws. Is he easily angered? Outspoken? Too gentle?
He must have some form of prejudice.
Can he not do anything else? Play sport? Make things? Paint?
Expand on personality. Is he sweet? Gentle? Kind? Outgoing?
Why is he unsure.
Does he not study? Education?
What shade of red?
What does he have then? Something from his childhood? A keepsake?
Definitely expand on background ‘typical life’ isn’t enough, add more detail.

Good start, but you need to add more detail to bring your character to life.

@Fraust

@Angel Thanks for the feedback! I will keep that in mind ^^. And by unsure, I mean that I'm not entirely sure what that category might mean, or how he would feel about politics or what religion he might be :)

Angel

@Celestial-B
Payton:
I would maybe add another talent? Is he a good write? Painter? Cook?
What are his hobbies when he’s at home?
What is he studying?
Specific breed of bird?

Really good! Not much to add really, very well thought out and formed.

Twin 1:
Any other hobbies?
What does he study?
What year was he born?

Again, not much at all to add! Well thought out and described.

Twin 2:
Why does he want to stay with his brother?
Why does he have this prejudice?
I would add more talents. Can he paint? Play an instrument? Sport?
I would also add more hobbies, as above.
What certain things does he agree with?
What is he studying?
What year was he born?

Not too much to add, but seems slightly less developed than the other two characters. I would expand slightly on talents and hobbies, but other than that good :)