forum I'll critique characters (manga or otherwise), story lines/plots, and romances (whether or not characters fit well together and what to change if you're determined to have them together).
Started by @Ozera Katara group
tune

people_alt 3 followers

@lonnielei

I'm writing a musical about Anne Frank, and for now I'm just trying to get all the characters DOWN. I'm also writing lyrics whenever I get inspired! I've been asking a lot of people for critiques on Anne, but I need some help with her sister and the boyfriend character. Right now I’m reading Anne’s diary and picking up on the personalities of the characters, but I also want them to feel human and developed, and right now they just don’t feel like that to me… send help. 😂

@Ozera Katara group

@TheMusicalVampire
Really good so far. I love how he's really relatable because everyone goes through at least one of the mental things he does. All I would say is to name off what phobias he does have (might come in handy later) and to add more positive. You've named off a lot of negative, which is good, it's just that it makes a character more realistic if their pros and cons almost but not quite equal each other. Over all very nice character! Interested to see what you do with him.

@Ozera Katara group

@lonnielei
Very good! My only real suggestions are that maybe you should go more in depth with Anne's sister and with her friend/crush. Also adding in at least one characters file you may want to add WHY they don't like the old Van Daans. Really good characters though, for real!

@fyodears

Hii, could you check them?

I don't know if I've made them 'human' enough, and I still have to find something that makes them both become friends haaalp.
Thanks in advance:)

@Ozera Katara group

Well, with friendship comes story progression. They both like to kill, acting, and art and they both hate boredom. Maybe the secondary character could be the one person who can entertain your main character (seems like her personality could). They are both atheist so they could talk and poke fun at the religions in the world. As for his trust, maybe she fascinates him so much that he finds himself subconsciously opening up to her, causing a sudden friendship. Overall, great characters!