forum I'll critique characters!

Started November 05, 2018 by @CW-BornConfuzzledLeftILoveYa

tune

I'm not too good at it, but I'll try!

Please critique him, Grandma!!

My reputation precedes me…

I have critiqued you before, and a pattern that I've noticed in your characters is that you
A. Have too many things in your "Overview". Take away the motto/quote and put it in "Nature"
B. Have the "full name" at the bottom, instead of in the main thing. Put it as his name, and in Nicknames, mark it "Most used: John".

In Looks…
A. How long is his ponytail? Is there anything woven in? What does he tie it back with?
B. If he is Twylitte, he should have some Twylitte-like marks. So far, it seems like you've used Twylitte (which is what? A place?) as a race. My race is Human, not Californian. If Twylitte is a race, have some Twylitte-related Identifying Marks.

In Nature…
A. What is his personality? I like what you put, but I have a hard time thinking of what he's like, personality wise.
B. You have sayings and mottos, both in different categories. Combine them.

In Social…
A. "A key player in the rebellion" is not his politics. It's for what he stands for when it comes to politics.

Overall, nice character! I want to see where this goes :)

Also, what year was he born?

My reputation precedes me…

But I have to laugh. Hamilton, how come no one has you on their staff?

Thanks for the critique, it was really good!!