forum How to write a character with anxiety??
Started by @jupiter-sun-of-sweater-town group
tune

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@Katastrophic group

well, I only have social anxiety but maybe I can help a little! For me I get anxious about conversations and social events. The sucky part is you keep worrying long after the interaction is over, sometimes I still cringe and think about how weird I would seem to other people even though it was years ago. The main thing for me with anxiety is I know my thoughts about it all are irrational. I know in my conversation the other day that the other person really doesn't remember the horrible mashup of words I made when I tried to get a sentence across faster than I could talk, but I remember that moment and the embarrassment of it very clearly. This is a mild example, but for things like giving presentations in class, I would feel almost sick before and during the presentation, and then for a long time after. I still feel a little 'fried' when I think of my most recent one which was in december last year and I got a decent grade on it. I know it's illogical to still carry on these bad feelings and the rest of the class probably don't even remember the topic I presented on, but the bad gross feeling of "everything is wrong I did nothing right and they're all judging me" will always be there.

Another point to made is that it doesn't go away. I see a lot of this in some stories and dare I say fanfiction. Even with my close friends who I've known for years I'll still have moments where I think things like this when I talk to them. For example, I know my friend N is sarcastic but really will stab someone if I needed her to. She made a comment that wasn't out of the ordinary for our conversations, but I still sat and stressed over her words and worried about double meanings and what she really meant, even though I know logically what she intended with her comment was not directed against me in any way. A lot of times in various things I've read, the anxiety magically goes away when the character meets their SO or BFF, when really it doesn't.

As for the big thing of anxiety attacks, there are lots of different kinds. For me it's a tight feeling in my chest but I don't suffocate or hyperventilate, it's kinda just there. Usually with this I get what's called 'over stimulation' where everything, and I mean everything, is annoying. Sounds are grating and too loud (think those montages in movies where someone makes sounds like pen clicks or foot taps), lights are too bright or glaring, and most important for me, people seem way too close. This tends to happen most in busy places like the store where there are lots of people pushing around (a lot of whom tend to glare and huff if you don't move fast enough). This sensation of everything being too much all at once will continue for a while, sometimes long after I leave the store. It will usually leave me feeling very tired after. This is only one way anxiety affects people, there are many types of anxiety and anxiety attacks that depend on the person.

Hope that helps a little ^_^

@Young-Dusty-the-Monarch-of-Dusteria group

I think my anxiety is fairly mild, and it was much worse when I was younger, but here's some things I've experienced:
I get really anxious about very specific things, for example I'm always afraid I'll get cancer. If something makes me worry that I'm cancerous (a lump, a mole, a random pain, anything really), my brain latches on like a magnet and I can't stop thinking about it for days at a time. It invades my thoughts any time I'm not distracted, and I get into spirals of "it's probably nothing" versus "you should start mentally preparing for death". Usually the random symptom goes away after a while, and I forget all about it— until the next thing triggers the anxiety again. And that's just one example of a thing that makes me anxious. I also experience social anxiety, but it's fairly mild and mostly centers around unfamiliar settings/people rather than friends or common interactions.
I'll second what @Katastrophe said: anxiety never magically goes away. However, you can develop techniques to manage your anxiety, as I have discovered through trial and error. A lot of it is just changing how you think about topics that trigger your anxiety, and practicing healthy stress-relief strategies like getting sleep and exercise and fresh air. Part of it, though, is just going through enough stressful situations that your mind slowly becomes desensitized and realizes, "hey, I've been through this before, it isn't so bad." Again, the anxiety does not fully go away—it just gets easier to predict and control with practice.
Also, when I'm anxious about something, I really struggle to tell anyone about it, even though I KNOW it almost always makes me feel better. The thing is, my anxiety tricks me by telling me that if I tell someone, they might makes things worse by saying I should be worried about whatever it is. (this has never actually happened, btw.) My anxiety wants to control me by keeping me isolated and uninformed about my worries, thinking it's keeping me safe when if fact it's damaging me and making me upset for no reason. The best thing I can do is face my fears and/or ask for help, because that takes away my anxiety's power.
I hope all that made sense and was helpful lol ^^;

@Fraust

I have pretty bad anxiety (general and social) and I mostly have trouble in crowds and stressful situations (example: one time I was working, and there was a large group with a bitchy customer who ordered a bunch of things that are difficult to make and kept complaining about me being slow, and I ended up having a panic attack for ~40 minutes). I don't like being touched, I'm terrified of things suddenly coming towards me (another example: had a panic attack during volleyball in P.E. class. Fun times…) and I generally struggle to make eye contact. When I'm feeling anxious, I generally try to escape the situation somehow or it'll only get worse

@Fraust

Also, my legs shake like, all the time
When I'm sitting down, they just shake
It's something I've gotten used to after like, four years of having anxiety