forum How do you write a character with OCD?

Started March 20, 2020 by @Mickey10

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Anyone who has OCD, can you please tell me what It's like so I can better write my character.

(massive massive tw for descriptions of ocd and compulsive behaviours)

it depends - a lot of ocd manifests in different ways for different people; for example, some people just have utterly horrific intrusive thoughts, and don't develop compulsions, however, compulsions often form in order to get rid of or soothe intrusive thoughts. it's a spectrum disorder, as well, which means that some people's compulsions and thoughts are far worse than others.

in my experience, a lot of the compulsive behaviour comes from trying to combat intrusive thoughts, which are like that impulse you get when you're in a high place and your brain tells you to jump, except it's ten times worse. different people have different intrusive thoughts, but often they revolve around self harm, harming other people (either physically or emotionally, ie having the intense urge to punch someone or say something you know would hurt them), family or friends dying, hypochondria, etc. they often happen right before you go to sleep, because you're not distracting yourself with anything, but sometimes it gets so bad that they seep into your everyday life, ie having a violent compulsion to smack someone mid-conversation.

so, what do you do to combat them? well, a lot of people with ocd develop compulsive or ritualistic patterns of behaviour. often, they make Absolutely No Sense - i knew someone who had intrusive thoughts about the death of a family member, and their response was to touch the doorknob twenty times before opening it. some seem vaguely rational: if you're cripplingly paranoid about disease, it makes sense to wash your hands until they bleed. people with intrusive thoughts about harming the people around them often feel an overwhelming sense of guilt, believing that the subject matter of their thoughts makes them a horrible person. you also get people who hoard paper, or sentimental objects (i used to hoard mcdonald's toys, for example) because there's a distinct feeling that if you don't, Something Bad Will Happen

also, a lot of people with ocd get hyperfocused on numbers: i had a period of my life where i did everything in tens - i'd count my steps in tens, count to a hundred when my intrusive thoughts got Bad, check my pockets for my keys ten times before i left the house, wash my hands ten times if i touched something dirty. i knew a person who did everything in sevens, but it varies from person to person.

as disorders go, it's awful; you constantly feel on edge because you're catastrophising, and sometimes you feel like an awful person because your intrusive thoughts are so morally repulsive to you that you don't know why you're having them. a lot of people also develop things like dermatillomania, where you compulsively pick your own skin, , or other forms of self harm like pulling out your own hair. i say again, though, a lot of this comes down to my personal experience - i'd recommend reading testimonies from other people with ocd to get a wider range of experiences, or to read ocd forums.

Ok. Thank you! And I'm really sorry. That sounds really hard. I'm here if you ever want to talk.

Ok. Thank you! And I'm really sorry. That sounds really hard. I'm here if you ever want to talk.

nah it's okay, man - i've had it since i was eight, and you develop a lot of coping mechanisms and strategies to process it in that time. i hope the information helps you!! good luck with your story!!

Ok. And thanks again! It is really helpful!

Ok. And thanks again! It is really helpful!

if you don't mind me asking, what kind of story are you writing? i don't see that much ocd rep that often, and i think it's cool that it's becoming more of a thing

Another thing they might do (in my case) is turn up the tv volume in tens.

Ok. Thanks Ella. And I'm writing a story about a teenage girl's experience with mental health, that's kind of based off my own experience. But I don't have OCD, so I wanted to make sure I got it right.

Hi!! I'm not sure if this is still open, and @seagull gave an amazing description (seriously, I have never heard it put into words so well) but I wanted to drop a couple weird little specific behaviors that might make your writing easier/more vivid.
Some weird behavior patterns I've experienced:

• Reading every single sign you see out loud. Every flyer on the street, every billboard, everything. You have to read it out loud to yourself, word-for-word. You don't know why, but you do. Your parents tell you to stop. Something Bad will happen if you stop.
• Walking down the street and just stopping, standing in place, because you have the urge to hurl yourself into traffic and it really, really feels like you won't be able to stop yourself from doing it this time, even though you don't want to.
• Repeating one neutral thought on a constant loop to drive out the horrific intrusive thoughts, so much so that you literally cannot focus on anything or hold a conversation.
• Saying embarrassing things to other people (secrets and stuff) because your brain is convinced that you'll die if you don't.
• Hiding dangerous objects from yourself because it feels like you're losing control of your body, and you might do something you don't wanna do.
• Gross dry hands that are literally splitting open from being washed so much
• This is very very very specific, but if your character has a religious fixation, this often DOES NOT HELP with compulsions. In simple terms, I was a kid who somehow developed religious terror, and in turn, had to repeat a very long prayer word-for-word before I let myself go to bed. It could take me upwards of an hour at a time because I kept convincing myself that I had made a mistake and needed to start over, or else some higher power would make Something Bad happen. Not very fun.
  Anyway, I really appreciate your dedication, and I hope your project goes well! I'm sure you'll knock it out of the park.
  <3