forum Hey there, can you please critique this one? thanks
Started by @sharkfinn_ey
tune

people_alt 2 followers

barabara

Add more mannerisms. How does he smile, laugh or, lie? What does he do when he's excited, nervous, or scared? Does he tap his foot or bite his lip?
How do pride and anger motivate him?
What is his deep flaw? What is the flaw that keeps him from completing his goal? Is he ignorant or is he too prideful?
Go more in depth with his personality, is he shy or opinionated? What makes him unique?
These are just some key things for this character, I hope this helped!

@sharkfinn_ey

Add more mannerisms. How does he smile, laugh or, lie? What does he do when he's excited, nervous, or scared? Does he tap his foot or bite his lip?
How do pride and anger motivate him?
What is his deep flaw? What is the flaw that keeps him from completing his goal? Is he ignorant or is he too prideful?
Go more in depth with his personality, is he shy or opinionated? What makes him unique?
These are just some key things for this character, I hope this helped!

Thank you! I updated him and he's a lot more detailed now

@@Wanheda

1) Playing with his hair. How does he play with his hair? Running his fingers through it, messing it up, pulling it?Why do people think this is cute? Is it mostly men or women who find it cute? Is it a really dramatic action? Why do people notice it? Playing with hair is extremely common and often goes unnoticed.
2) Tearing apart leaves. Does he carry leaves on him just for stress relief? Is he always picking them off trees? What kind of leaves? Why leaves? Why not a stress ball? Does this cause irritation because others have to clean it up? Unless he spends a lot of time outside, it seems like an odd habit.
3) Going along with his habits, it may be good to explain why he still has them. If he was trained as an assassin they would have certainly drilled it into him to sit still for long periods of time to assure his task is completed.

@sharkfinn_ey

1) Playing with his hair. How does he play with his hair? Running his fingers through it, messing it up, pulling it?Why do people think this is cute? Is it mostly men or women who find it cute? Is it a really dramatic action? Why do people notice it? Playing with hair is extremely common and often goes unnoticed.
2) Tearing apart leaves. Does he carry leaves on him just for stress relief? Is he always picking them off trees? What kind of leaves? Why leaves? Why not a stress ball? Does this cause irritation because others have to clean it up? Unless he spends a lot of time outside, it seems like an odd habit.
3) Going along with his habits, it may be good to explain why he still has them. If he was trained as an assassin they would have certainly drilled it into him to sit still for long periods of time to assure his task is completed.

Thank you! I updated him immediately. He tears the leaves outside, but does so beause he hates the feeling of stressballs (slime, etc etc).
I have to change some background things as well since I wrote out his friend Jaden. Basically Jaden takes care of him when his parents die and trains him. Lincoln liked doing that with Jaden as a bonding activity, later he liked the results.
He is trained as an assasin, but didn't get any assignments yet. Jaden takes care of them most of the time. So he gets to keep 'distracting' habits for now.

@@Wanheda

That's great! Just wanted to give you some things to think about. I'm a Psych major and the WHY behind things is kinda drilled into us. lol

@sharkfinn_ey

That's great! Just wanted to give you some things to think about. I'm a Psych major and the WHY behind things is kinda drilled into us. lol

Yes I get that! that's the whole point of why the person is doing all those things. Sounds like a very interesting major/college (I'm Dutch and school-related terms are way different here so sorry about not getting the term right)

@@Wanheda

Major is right. It's really fun, I love it, but if I didn't I wouldn't be taking it. It helps a lot with writing characters. It helps me understand why people are inclined to do certain things.