@sharkfinn_ey
heyy, i need some advice on this girl, thanksss!
heyy, i need some advice on this girl, thanksss!
Sure. I love her name! reminds me of veronica sawyer from heathers lol. her appearance is very nice, but don't be afraid to make her fat! it seems like u were shying away from the fact that she is bigger. there's nothing wrong with making her overweight and showing it –it just makes the story more realistic. her mannerisms crack me up! they're very well done, as is her motivation. I relate a lot to her flaws hehe. talents and hobbies are all good. personality type could use maybe a little more fleshing out, but that's not a necessity since she's a side character.
For religion, just put atheism instead of none. background is short and a little vague, but not terrible. a little sprucing up and it'll be perfect.
overall, great job! I don't have very many critiques for her :D
Thankss<3
i couldn't find the word atheism whoops, but i'll change it into that, thanks!
i find it hard to write overweight characters without, like, calling them fat or something like that, because of the negative atmosphere around the word fat (think about bullying and such). maybe you have some advice on that?
Anyway, thanks for checking them out and giving such great advice:D
no problem! recently people who are overweight have been trying to retake the word fat, making it less an insult and more a positive thing. so maybe have veronica absolutely own it, calling herself fat and gorgeous, etc. or have her mostly ignore it, but put up with no bullying about it. since she's not a main character, having her struggle with it might be too much/weird, but definitely include the fact that she's Not Skinny.
good luck :)
Yeah i think i'll have her being all body positive and raising other people's self esteem, crushing the steriotype
Woah! This girl is special! I really like her. You did a good job of creating someone that you don't usually read in books. She's interesting!
You might want to focus on her personality, views, and such.
I see the flaws that you've listed but maybe some more about herself? For example, hates routine, does not follow rules, does not take people's advice, careless about little things. That kind of stuff.
She's definitely a bit of a puzzle to me, which is good! But your reader should want to get to know her not be sort of confused and lost. You have the main idea of her and what she's like in front of people, just connect the little dots. Make her a whole person to you and get to reaaaally understand her. What is she like on the inside? What does she see in herself? Does she even think about herself? What are her goals? What's her greatest fear? What does she hate with her whole body, mind, and soul? What does she love with her whole body, mind, and soul? What are her views on life, death, religion, politics? Does she even care about that stuff? I see she's obsessed with aliens, figure out why.
Hope this helped! If you have any questions, just ask. I'm happy to help!
thanks for your reaction and advice! i'll look at her again tomorrow morning and get all the details on paper
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