forum Helps I need

Started April 08, 2019 by @Darkblossom group

tune

Is it weird for a dragon where-beast who is technically 200 but is the maturity and development of an 18 year old to be in a relationship with a 24 year old fox where-beast? If so, what ages in the 19-29 range would be acceptable?

Okay so, that's really loaded? One thing I keep in mind when it comes to age differences in relationships is how long someone's been an adult, compared to their partner. Minors aside(since 18 is technically of age and if they were younger it'd be gross), you might want to go a couple of years higher, to give them some more experience. A little more info might help, too, if you've got it.

Two of my characters have been dating for a few months now. He's 17 and she's 24. He's really reckless and wild and she's mature and serious. It only works out because of there feelings for one another.

Um….a twenty four year old and a seventeen year old shouldn't really be dating? It's an unbalance of power.

Do they both have the maturity of adults? If so, you’re fine. (They are both legally adults, so that’s not a problem in itself).
The issue I usually see with this is “dragon female who his hundreds of years old so it’s okay for adults to be in love with her because she’s an adult, even though she looks like she’s 12.” It doesn’t sound anything like what you’re doing.

Um….a twenty four year old and a seventeen year old shouldn't really be dating? It's an unbalance of power.

Yeah, I agree with this… minors should not date adults, period, unless we’re talking about like a 17 and 18-year-old.

Thank s to everyone who commented! I think I am going to change her age to 19, mostly just because of personal preference and… just reasons.

Um….a twenty four year old and a seventeen year old shouldn't really be dating? It's an unbalance of power.

Yeah, I agree with this… minors should not date adults, period, unless we’re talking about like a 17 and 18-year-old.

I feel like an exception is if it's a setting where age isn't a factor as much. I have a 17 yo and a 19 yo who are together, but it's in a dystopian setting and they both are mature for their age.
24 and 17 is a really big age gap though…..is there any way to age one up or down?

Seventeen and nineteen is a bit better, and in a dystopian setting, I'm guessing both of them had to grow up quickly. But yeah, the whole seventeen/twenty four thing…that, even of you didn't want it to, or aren't writing it that way, is still not really okay.

Yeah, I mean that works alright I guess. It just really depends because usually if someone older is trying to be with a high school-aged kid, it’s not because they really love each other… there’s usually no power balance, or there’s manipulation involved on someone’s part.

I’m thinking, now correct me if I’m wrong, that if the characters are younger than 20 than the age gap should probably be no more than two or three years. After 20, the age gap can be bigger, as then they are all adults with relatively the same level of maturity.

Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. The younger you are, the less of an age gap there should be between you and your partner, y'know?

Pretty much.

Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. The younger you are, the less of an age gap there should be between you and your partner, y'know?

Yes, because maturity differences are so drastic. If you’re a 16-year old dating a 20-year old, that older person has lived 25% longer than you have. That’s a lot.

I'm horrible at writing romances but I do notice the following things in real life:

1. if they're in the same phase of life (both students, both working etc.) the relation is more likely to be mutually respectful and, you know, actually work.
2. the older both people are, the less others care about the age gap. 18 and 25 somehow seems a much bigger difference than 79 and 86. In my mind at least.

You’re not the only one. It’s because the gap in maturity is much bigger between an 18 and 25 year old versus a 79 and 86 year old.

A mathematical formula for calculating age differences:
current age/2 + 7 = youngest acceptable age of partner
it doesn't work for anyone younger than 14, and some age gaps still are a bit uncomfortabe, but it gives a good reference point :)
And as everyone else has already said, it all depends on the characters themselves and their emotional maturity