I had this idea for a story. Basicly a girl named Night is cursed to turn into a monster when she loses control of her emotions. Her BFF/love interest Acenore helps her deal with the curse. A guy named Dale wants to kill Night's monster self. He looks for people to help him and Night joins before realizing what he need her help for. Dale doesn't know that Night and Night's monster self are the same person(or monster) until the climax. As the curse starts getting more and more permanent Night also has to worry that the next time she turns into a monster she might not be able to turn back ever again. The problem is that I don't know how to make the readers care about what happens to the characters (I'd also like critiques on the plot). Any advice?
Hm… Maybe Night is really sweet, but not without flaws (such as getting angered easily), as a human, but as a monster, she's a walking husk of pure evil. It also might help to explain where the monster form comes from. Maybe one of her parents had the curse.
Okay, I think a good idea would be to give some background. Like an explanation as to why she has this and/or how she come to be cursed? how did this effect her parents and, possibly, other friends? How did they react? Is she hunted by other forces? What drives her to join Dale? Why does Dale want to kill Night's monster-self?
If you dig in to how Night feels about some of these things and how she makes decisions, she might become more relatable.
Hope this helps!
My only tip is to make sure the characters do have flaws, they are more relatable if there is even just one thing about them that they are embarrassed about like their clumsy or loud or have an unhealthy obsession with sour keys and maybe make a defining feature that carries onto her monster form like an extreme eye colour or if she had a crazy colour hair make the monster that colour too like since she is a night monster she could have black hair and turn into a black monster you know? Hope it helps I'm terrible at explaining things without my thoughts going all over the place haha sounds like an amazing story idea though!
Also, now that I think about it, make it clear how she feels about her curse. I can relate to a character who hates something she has no control over.
