forum Help on how to write an asexual character?

Started March 27, 2019 by @amber_is_in_a_loop

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There seem to be a lot of dos and don'ts and I don't want to get this wrong and churn out another terribly represented character, so any help would be great!

Ace here!
Some things to remember when writing an ace character!

• Asexual =/= aromantic. You can be ace and still be romantically attracted to people (like I am) or be ace and not feel romantic attraction.
• While we don't feel sexual attraction, some of us do have sex. There's sex-repulsed aces, sex-neutral aces, and sex-positive aces (keep in mind that sex positive aces still don't feel sexual attraction)
• Asexuality is a spectrum. Asexual=no sexual attraction, demisexual=sexual attraction to someone you've formed an emotional bond with, and graysexual=sexual attraction to a specific person

Some common asexual stereotypes:

• Aces have been abused as children or teens.
• Aces are just gay people with internalized homophobia.
• Aces are incapable of love.
• Aces are oblivious to sex and sexuality
• All aces are perfect little angels of purity
• Aces are prudes
• Aces don't make/get offended by dirty jokes
• Aces are just 'special snowflakes' trying to sneak into the LGBTQ community (keep in mind people who believe this stereotype probably just call it the LGBT community)
• Aces have autism or a mental illness, and that causes their aceness
• Aces just need the right partner to 'fix' them

Note: Ticking some of these boxes (basically any except the 'internalized homophobia' one, the 'fixing' one, and the 'special snowflakes' one) isn't automatically bad. In fact, I have an ace who has been abused and an ace who is autistic in my stories. Hell, I am an autistic ace. Just avoid oversaturation with these tropes!
Some of the stereotypes are solely on personal preference, like the humor ones. Some aces have very dirty senses of humor, and some have cleaner senses of humor, it depends on the person.

Oooooh, this helps me too thank you so much

No problem!

This is awesome thank you!

In my case, I'm just far more interested in being good friends with someone then any sort of romantic/sexual relationship. And although my parents are totally fine with how I lead my life and very supportive, every time I talk about a boy somewhat more than normal they immediately jump on the shipping train… Which is interesting. Others are more interested in my love life than I am.