forum Help me with my character?

Started January 25, 2018 by @itskayhere

tune

I'm still new and learning how to work the character thing. But does it look good any flaws or things I missed?

Hi! I'm just gonna jump straight to ~top down~ …

Ok, first off, she's about 10-15 pounds underweight. Not huge when you're writing, but you know. Just thought I'd point it out~!

Ok, so you've obviously got the science chica ~aesthetic~ going on here, which I LOVE. I think it works fine, although if she's an MC, I would advise mixing in some more motivations. (This depends on the plot of your story, of course). Also, prejudices are…. not prejudices. Being an atheist doesn't automatically make you hate on other religions (I'm guessing that this is what you mean–sorry if I'm wrong!!). If that's what you're going for, maybe try stuff like 'thinks those who don't believe in evolution are idiots,' 'hates when children are dragged to church' (TBH evolution is probably the most common prejudice from science –> religion that I can think of.)

I notice that you haven't included politics. Personally, I find it helpful to rate my characters on a scale of liberal-ness. When taking a scientist's angle, consider: how much does Asha care about the environment? What's her stance on gender equality, same-sex marriage, abortion, etc. (societal issues)? You mentioned that she's very opinionated–let that shine through in her political inclinations!!

Oh. Um. Big problem. HUGE problem. She doesn't have a backstory?? If she's an MC, she NEEDS a backstory. Why is she obsessed with science? Who are the people who teased her for it? Why does she feel the need to prove them wrong? Why is she an atheist? Just…. backstory is what will tie in all those awesome traits!! It's SUPER important.

Overall, though, I love the traits!! She seems like a very lovable character–give her a backstory and I think that you're good to go!!

I hope that this helps you!! :DDD

Yay! These are so much fun.
Alright, by section:
Overview: Everything looks good. And also: I just love the fact that you used Zendaya to model your character after, she is such an icon :D.
Looks: Now that I'm getting the hang of this whole "determining an arbitrary weight in numbers for a character", your chica seems to be a tad underweight for someone of her height. For all other categories, I would a few more descriptive words to the traits you list. My favorite here was "like a light caramel" because it really helped me picture her in my mind. If you can do this with the rest of the traits, good on you! (Also, I would try to clarify her race a tad more…)
Nature: Motivations are very nice and probable. I would maybe try to put them in a bit more context though. Flaws are also very good. Prejudices, however, are not very well addressed, as even atheists do have prejudices. Personality type is clear, but I would elaborate more on her personality traits. Also, throw in some mannerisms! It might seem small, but it goes a long way in making the character more real.
Social: Everything seems in its place and well addressed! Love her favorite possession :D.
History: Whoa, whoa, WHOA. No Backstory? You've set up some very strong things here with this character, but without a backstory they are not supported or contextualized. A fleshed out backstory is one of the most important things for a character, as it can get the audience invested in them and understand why they are the way that they are. So I would definitely add one in.
Over all, you have a very strong and believable foundation for a great character, but more context is needed for her flaws, motivations, backstory, etc. Keep going, you got this!