forum Hello! Critique Please?
Started by @darling-velocipede group
tune

people_alt 4 followers

@HadesKidatHeart

What type of magic does she have? Is there just universal magic or do people have innate tendencies toward certain types and how would that affect them? Also, if her motivations are her family, why does she need to impress them? Is there some more background on that?

@CinnamonRoll

No, no, I don't mind!! Here, I'll do it right away–top down…

For starters, I love her name! Is there a story behind it? Also, girl, get rid of those question marks on the universe name!! That's an AWESOME name!!

I try not to critique on looks, but I would recommend adding a bit more description in the skin tone and body type fields, just so we can picture her better.

Okay. Personality page is all right–what you have right now flows nicely–but I think you need more. I don't know how main she is, but even if she's just a side character, I would recommend a bit more. I notice that you left the hobbies and prejudices field empty? Tip: don't do that!! Personality page has some of the most important fields. Hobbies and prejudices both serve to take your character from, well, a character on paper to a human being (or witch, I suppose!!) They just make your character more relatable and real. I would also add more under personality type. Kudos to you on the flaws, though!! Most often, I'll see lackluster flaws, but you have several good ones here. Those are perhaps the most important in rounding out your character.

Same critique on the social page!! Things like favorite colors and foods make your characters seem more real, and things like religion and politics can help gauge reactions. For example, heavily religious people will often be more cautious and conservative. When it comes to politics, I know, it seems useless, but I find it helpful to rate my characters on a scale of liberal-ness. It helps understand how they'll react to certain issues!! :3

Okay, backstory needs a lot more. This should explain your character's motivations, flaws, and prejudices, among other things if you can fit it all in. It's very important to go into detail here–it seems useless, but I often think of key character attributes when I'm typing up backstory!!

Overall, the premise you have here is solid–really, you just need to fill out more! Then I think your character will be very well-rounded. :)

I hope that this helps you!! :DDD

@WitherBeagle

I think it is really good you do not need any improvements! but she is a prinses shouldn't she have more enemies?? also can we cretece on your other characters

@WitherBeagle

Quote: "What type of magic does she have? Is there just universal magic or do people have innate tendencies toward certain types and how would that affect them? Also, if her motivations are her family, why does she need to impress them? Is there some more background on that?"

@HadesKidatHeart TheFlowerQueen does not have prenom good critics anywhey. But… I love your motives ideas good job @HadesKidatHeart!