forum Hello, can someone please critique this character I made? I would really like if you could, thank you!
Started by Alex
tune

people_alt 41 followers

@RJ-world-building

I really enjoyed the character! He seems like a really cool and interesting person. I particularly enjoyed the favourite possession part and I thought it really showed his history and how he came to be his current self. However, I have a couple of nit-picks and aspects you could improve on.

-skin colour : latte - I would HIGHLY recommend changing this to a different word, especially if what you mean to say is a variant of a brown skin tone. As a general rule, don't describe people of colour's skin tones as food. It links to the dehumanization of people of colour throughout history and in the media. If you are confused, it is very easy to look up online. Bottom line, change latte to a different word.
-Identifying Marks : scars on forearms, Braces -maybe explain where the scars came from
-Religion : none, he used to be Catholic but stopped believing -Why? Did something tragic happen that made him wonder what kind of God would allow it? Was he raised Catholic but slowly changed his mind as he distanced himself from his family? Does he believe science disproves the existence of God?
-Politics : he hates politics with a burning passion -Again, why? Is it personal? Has he been slighted by a law or act he thinks is unfair? Does he hate someone particular who is in power? Is he just sick of everyone talking about it all the time?
-Education : 11th grade (high school) -Could you expand on this? Dies he go to a prestigious and academic private school? A public school with a bad reputation? A small school with maximum 400 students? Is he going well at school or poorly?

Hope these help!