i just recently created my first original character, and i wanted to know what people thought, like is it too cliche, or too out there? Their name is Oliver, they work as a psychiatrist at a mental institution, and they are 22 years old. They are pretty calm most of the time, but if something ticks them off, it really ticked them off. (ex people mistreating the patients) They have a dog, Toby, who is their best friend, and have a bit of a past that they don't share with people often. so yeah, please let me know!
Oliver Sarah Anderson here's the link if just that general description wasn't enough
i like the character, their a good detailed wallflower, what is the story about?
Hello hello~~! I'd love to look over your character!! Okay, top down…
Okay, right away I have a major problem. Genderfluid is just fine (and I'm not well versed in the specifics, so if any of this is wrong, I apologize), but… I can't tell what gender they were ~born~ (I'm not even sure if this is significant–if not, sorry!). Now, this might've been the point (again, I apologize!!). The name is a little confusing, but the thing that really throws me off is the appearance. You first list stubble, which is fine, but then you list a feminine, slightly curvy figure. This is just really confusing.
Under personality, I only have one major complaint–the prejudices. A prejudice should be ~negative~ (generally speaking), so I really don't see 'wanting to help people ASAP' as a prejudice. Other than that, everything looks OK to me!!
Hmm. See, this is bugging me–the backstory is fine, it explains everything, but that's it. While I care a lot about the backstory explaining traits, I would also like for it to provide more insight into the character. I understand them fundamentally, but that's about it. It just feels… small. Flesh it out a little bit! Add some detail!!
Okay, this one was hard, seeing as I'm not well-versed in genderfluid-ness, but I still hope that this helps you!! :DDD
well my main idea is that they just started working a month ago, and just recently made a breakthrough with one of their patients, who previously never spoke a word. The patient keeps insisting that they are the owner of this mental home, and that a few weeks before Oliver came, the patients took over, and are now running the place. of course at first Oliver doesn't believe them, but over time there are a lot of signs that are very hard to ignore.
@CinnamonRoll thank you so much! i really don't know that much about making characters, so this really helps. sorry if it was a little confusing, i'll be sure to make some changes.
@CinnamonRoll just really quikely i wanted to know what you meant by, fleshing out the backstory, i'm just a little confused, and some elaboration would help.
@CinnamonRoll just really quikely i wanted to know what you meant by, fleshing out the backstory, i'm just a little confused, and some elaboration would help.
Oh! So what I meant there is that the backstory is a little bare-bones. Yes, it explains their motives, but that's all. Throw in a bit of detail to add more depth to the character! I find that little blips in the backstory can make a lot of difference. Ask yourself, 'Why are they shy?' and think of a scenario. What's this about mistreated patients? Tell me more! Why are they insecure? Again, think of a scenario! Nothing happens in a vacuum; everything comes from somewhere!
I hope this helps explain that!! ;P Sorry, I can be a little vague sometimes!!
@CinnamonRoll thank you so much! i really appreciate the input you've given me, and i know that this is definitely going to help.
This isn't a critique because I suck at those, but what shade purple is their favorite color? Is it like lavender purple or eggplant purple or anything inbetween? Just curious, don't mean to be a pain in the royal butt.
well, i changed the backstory, as well as a few other things, i hope its better than before!
Another question, I know, curiosity killed the cat, but:
When you say their favorite weapon is acrobatics, how would that work out? Like, backflip and kick them in the face or something?
@NothingHappened871 good question, i'd have to say an eggplant purple, if a bit darker, and if that doesn't help, then so dark its almost black, but its still purple. i don't really know. eggplant.
@NothingHappened871 once again another good question, and i'd have to say used mainly for evasive moves, flipping out of the way so fast that the villan falls on their face or something. and if that doesn't work, then they do have a lot of muscle, so they'd probably just punch them in the face.
i really like the story it sounds alot like the stonehearst asylum movie
