forum (Filled) I'll Critique Five, Somewhat-Developed Characters

Started September 05, 2019 by @jantz

tune

just drop a character and i'll critique the first 5 characters linked. if you just started developing your character i'd recommend you not link them because i'll probably be very minimal with my critique.

I've worked on this character for a while
here's my child Myles:

Well hmm…I want to make Valentina less…cringy and more original. Give me a hand?

Edward Lupin Here's Teddy (from HP)

If you want another :)

Rei is one of my most finished characters but a critique to make sure she's on the right track is much appreciated!

Hey would you look over Arthur for me please?Arthur
he seems real real flat to me but like i can't really place my finger on what's wrong
thank you so much in advance! :-)

p.s. my critiques are kind of a mess

I've worked on this character for a while
here's my child Myles:

• “Random Characters that haven’t been placed in books yet” so he’s a main character with no story?

• So his religion is “Atheism?” I’d personally go more in depth with this because atheists can fall under many categories. Is he a scientologist? Agnostic? Nihilist? etc.

• In most of the favorites, try to explain why those items and things are his favorites.

• In the background section you explain that Myles wants to both get good grades and party and smoke pot. To me, that really doesn’t add up. It feels like you’re trying to cram two different characters into one. The “No parental guidance” and “Partying” add up, but not getting really good grades.

• So, in a nutshell, his motivation is the feeling he gets when he helps people? Cool. But how does he help people? What does he do? And what feelings does he get when he actually helps them?

• In his hobbies, you wrote “Explores abandon desolate places.” How does that fit into his story? What kind of things go through his mind when exploring? Where exactly does he find these places?

• You say in his condition that he’s depressed. Why? A lot of writers like to say their characters are depressed but not a lot of people actually go in-depth about it.

• In his Personality section you say he’s really kind and helpful to others, but you also state that he’s very judgemental and questioning towards others. That really doesn’t add up.

That’s all I could really come up with, other than that he seems like he has potential. Good job.