forum Do you mind critiquing my character?

Started February 02, 2018 by @@Reiko

tune

She seems really cool!

I really like the "She has to be and stay the prettiest woman ever or else…who will?"

For mannerisms, instead of speaks English, maybe you should put something like how they act when they're nervous (ex: bites her nails when she's nervous, licks her lips repeatedly when concentrating, something like that). Also, she's talented at…. everything? She's only 18, which is still young, and she just maybe she has a knack for bug exterminating too haha. Maybe you should limit that, a character has to have some sort of flaws, it makes them a more in depth and interesting character to write and read, and if she's talented at everything she can charm a snake too, so you will want to limit that. The talents make the flaws, and the flaws make the character. Also, the flaws you have are good, but you might want to consider adding more for the reason previously stated. For personality, if she's vain and stuck up, it's going to be considerably hard to fit in caring without it feeling like it wasn't her character. You should really add the occupation, religion, and politics to give yourself more of a base for writing her. Hehe, she was born on April fools day. That backstory is really good! It provided lots of insight to what makes her who she is.

Other than that she seems like a character I wouldn't want to mess with, but wouldn't mind getting to know her. Good luck, I tried to critique as much as I could so you can develop her more. I hope you don't take any of this the wrong way, I really like your character, good luck!