It's a very heavy topic and not many people feel comfortable talking about it. If people can't help me it's fine. Don't feel obligated to talk about something you're uncomfortable with.
I'm currently writing a story where the main character is struggling to find their place in the world and has trouble seeing the bright side of things. They feel like they've lost everything
The problem is, I have no idea how depression works or feels and I don't know anyone who's dealt with it. I also feel like those information sites don't give an accurate view of the affliction.
I need help with the following points:
- How does it start? Does it build up gradually or is it just there one day?
- How does it afflict daily interactions with loved ones?
- I understand depression can come in waves. Is this a given fact, or does it vary for each person?
- What does it take, besides time, to get back on your feet?
1.. that depends on the person. For me it built up gradually when I moved from my home town to a place I didn’t even know existed. Feel like no one talks to you or constantly feeling lonely may be signs that you have depression.
2.. sometimes my answers get one worded. Other times I don’t reply or rarely talk. I hate hugs and need space so when my family tries to sit next to me or hug me I move away. I try to do things myself and constantly apologize for even the smallest things even if it wasn’t my fault
3.. Well it depends on the person. I get depressed when my mom is constantly yelling at me or when I watch something really sad (atm it’s infinity war). My friend get depressed when she feels her friends are ignoring her, or when she fights with her mom and sister.
4.. I’m still not back on my feet but having support form trusted loved ones is important. You also need to do things you are interested in. Listening to happy music is always good.
I hope this helped!!
Infinity War, the cause of depression.
- it builds for a while and then the dam overflows and it's made itself very present. it's not like it just appears, there's reason (wether causation or genetic). if you still don't get it you can always look at stuff online or in books on mental illness and depression, or talking to someone that you know irl that would be ok with talking about their personal experiences?
- a big chunk of depression is demotivation. feeling like you can't get out of bed and not having enough mental energy to talk to someone would definitely not only conflict with familial, romantic and friendly interactions, but they also conflict with work ethic, general emotion and physical health.
- everything varies. some people feel their depression lurking every day and others feel fine one day and then are knocked over by a 'wave' the next. some people like myself have seasonal affective disorder, where the lack of sunlight in the fall and winter causes a seasonal depression. :/
- healing is usually benefited by positive human interaction and possibly medication. you can't really 'heal' depression like a broken bone, it's prob always gonna be there but you can definitely boost yourself up with medication and keeping a good headspace in terms of social relationships with yourself and others. therapy usually works wonders but i obviously am only speaking from experience and not for everyone.
hope this helped even a little bit :)
one last thing please remember to give your character traits other than their depression. a person is not their illness and have a personality outside of it.
There's no one cause of depression and we're actually not sure why some people sink into it and others don't. Part of it appears to be genetic and can run in families, other times people become clinically depressed for purely circumstantial reasons like life changes and loss. There are also different types of depression that are diagnosed by severity of symptoms and lengths of episodes, And I'd encourage you do do more research into which type you will give your character to avoid any "Dwight You Ignorant Slut" type of slip ups. That will answer 2-3 for you but as a general note, yes it will usually impact day to day mood (unless your character has bipolar depression which will give them episodes of mania) in ways like strange sleeping and eating habits and a lack of energy and interest in things they were once very passionate about. Symptoms vary person to person off of things like genetics, treatment received, support network available and even personality. It's a very interesting Illness that affects a very large number of people yet we still no reality little about it. Some people make full recovers from even the most major depressions, and others can be affected for the rest of their lives, all of this will depend on what form you'll give your character.
1) It really depends on the person, but I would say gradually. Depression is usually started after you get Anxiety or after a tramatic event.
2) I would say yes, but It also depends on the person. Some people hide their depression so they seem happy all the time, but they take it out once they get home or when no one is around. Other people deal with it differenty. It causes you to be insolated from the outside world because sometimes they feel that they don't belong, that they don't have a purpose. Also because people just don't understand.
3) Depression really varies on the person.
4) Well it takes a lot of support possibly some therapy to get back on your feet.
@FireSky, Thank you so much. This definitely helps.
@sadgirl, this is very useful as well. It will definitely be a priority to not let depression define the character. She has strong convictions and if she's feeling up to it her impact on others is mayor.
@Azuresbend, I did not know there are actually different types of depression. I'll look into that.
@I'mWithYouUntilTheEndOfTheLine, thank you for your help as well.
Your welcome! Hope your character turns out amazing!
These are all true, but you have to be careful not to make all your quiet characters depressed, they may just be introverts. It is very possible for a quiet person to just be swept up with whatever it is they're thinking about.
@Evenstar. Don't you worry. I'm not exactly an outgoing person myself and I don't really associate being quiet in general with depression.
