forum Critiques, Please?

Started June 04, 2018 by Opal in a Cave

tune

Hello! Please critique one of my side protagonists, Nina! Thank you!

Looks- I can really see her! I like the idea of purple eyes! However, I don't see how someone can be both tall and petite. Maybe that's not the word you're looking for here?

Nature- This seems to be a really interesting character, although there is a some conflict here. It says she is shy and timid, although being on guard and ready attack those who insult her suggests she is more aggressive in personality. It also says she is very stubborn, which doesn't really go along with desperately wanting acceptance. You might want to clear some stuff up here.

This seems like a great character so far! There are little bits of conflicting information that you might want to change, but other than that, keep up the good work!

Hi!

Looks section. First of all, is 5'3 considered tall? My friend is 5'2, and she is extremely short. Even though she's thirteen, that's still fairly short, since most girls stop growing around 12-14 years old. Unless all witches are short, she is not tall. And is she really the only pretty witch out there? Why is she so pretty? How often do you mention how pretty she is? The fact that she's so gorgeous and it seems to be almost an insecurity of hers is kind of…odd. It could get annoying fast, because most people don't bemoan the fact that they're pretty. It kind of makes her less relatable, in a way.

Nature section. I love her mannerisms, but do they fit her personality? If she's overconfident and clever, why would she get nervous or flustered often? What type of mannerisms does she have when she's not nervous? I like her motivation, flaws, and prejudices. Her personality type could be fleshed out more. When does she get flustered? Around strangers? How does she act around friends? How does she act around people who don't accept her/bully her? Does she stand her ground, does she get really upset, does she cry? Flesh it out!

Social section looks fine, but the history section is painfully bare. Where's her backstory? If she's the most beautiful witch ever and most witches don't accept her for that, she must have had an eventful childhood! How did she turn out so pretty? What did her parents think? How is her relationship with her parents? Does she have friends? A backstory is vital aspect of any character, no matter how insignificant.

Overall, she definitely has potential. You just need to flesh her out a bit more. Good luck.

Thanks for all of the feedback! When I started writing, her personality changed a lot. I went back and updated some things, but a lot it is still unchanged, which is probably why some things conflict. You're definitely right about the backstory, though!