forum Critique Xivint, meh gurl

Started July 23, 2018 by @Pandapocalypse

tune

This is Xivint (aka Xiv). She is meh gurl. Plez critique??

I really like Xiv however there are some things you could do to improve her character

• add in mannerisms, this humanises the character and makes her more relatable

• it would also help to give a backstory and family to explain why her mother’s necklace is her fav. possession, etc.

Other than that she looks really good!

Already have mannerisms, added small backstory. Not going into the whole chosen by lord thing.

omg I feel really trash now,, sorry if I insulted u by saying to add mannerisms,, the backstory is really good and I'm sure the back ground behind the lord choosing is really interesting!
Happy writing, Jacque

its ok, easy mistake! And thanks for the critique

Hallo! So far, this seems like a pretty interesting main character! I think you might want to flesh her out a bit more in a couple of areas though.

Looks- Cool. Everything seems good here. I love the idea of grey hair! However, the weight doesn't match up with body type, considering the average weight for girls that age is 118 pounds, unless, of course, she's a pretty tall, which you'd want to mention.

Nature- It's nice to see a protagonist who likes to write! Thats a change, considering so many protagonists these days are more drawing focused. You definitely should add some more serious flaws though, the kinds of things that really bother people about others, not just something trivial or endearing. Having a hard time focusing is a good start though!

Social- Adding and coming up with reasons for some of her favorites would be good. It makes a character seem more purposeful and less "Drawing a card out of a hat"-ish. Of course, sometimes people like things just because they like them, and that's cool to. Other then that, all fine.

History- More back story! How does she feel about her grandparents? What about her parents for leaving her? When did she meet her 2 best friends? When did she start liking writing? I feel like this all is probably pretty interesting.

Anyway, good luck in writing your story, and I hope this helped a little! (:

Thx!