forum Critique time!

Started February 17, 2018 by @getroastytoastymrmcghosty

tune

Wow. First time putting myself out there. Here? Either way, here we go! All criticism is appreciated. She's a bit of a mess, but that's what criticism (hopefully constructive) is for, right?

I love her! Very fleshed-out and interesting. Hard to critique because you added so many vibrant little details. My only complaint is her lack of backstory. Confidential??? Maybe in the background section you can explain why it's confidential. Otherwise, good job.

I love her! Very fleshed-out and interesting. Hard to critique because you added so many vibrant little details. My only complaint is her lack of backstory. Confidential??? Maybe in the background section you can explain why it's confidential. Otherwise, good job.

Thank you so much. I appreciate the feedback!

Okie dokie I've been looking at your character for a little while and the first thing I see that just confuses me, is that she's scared of men, but flirts a lot anyways? That's like being scared of big dogs and letting them jump all over you and playfully bite you. You could touch up on that or you could make her flirt with another gender a lot.

The second thing I noticed is that she is very sarcastic, that's not exactly a bad thing (but the connotation you used for it seemed like you thought it was, sorry if I got confused). Also she's deceptive, that can be a hard thing to write, but if you can pull it off go for it that'd be awesome!

For politics, you have to have something!! This is a very important part of the character, it doesn't matter whether or not she knows anything about politics, she has some sort of leaning even if she doesn't know it!! Does she stand for equality, does she like to know that her leader is human by getting to know them, or does she prefer everything to be strictly business? Politics reveal what your character stands for, if you're having trouble just ask yourself if you can see her in a march for it.

The favorite animal made me laugh lmao

You should really add more to her background, people in her universe will think all else is confidential, but here it isn't, so go wild! I would really like to see how you include the meanings behind how she acts and her mannerisms if you can find a reason.

Aside from those things, I REALLY LOVE THIS CHARACTER OKAY WOWa;lojklerglknheg!!!!!! She seems pretty aWeSoMe and I can't wait to see if you write her, or if you update your background. Oh my gosh I just realized that if Ophelia met my character (Raziel), they would either be arch enemies or best friends so that's cool haha!

Anyways enough of me fangirling over your character, good luck in your writing!

@Raziel Gallephraya
Omg thank you so much! By the way that you write, I feel like we'd be chill friends irl. But y'know, stranger danger. Fr fr, thank you.

I agree with both comments. Ophelia is suuuuuuuper awesome! I would love to see her background story or anything about why she doesnt like boys/mans/teenagers. But like I already said: I WANT TO MEET HER!!!!!!!!!!!!

I agree with both comments. Ophelia is suuuuuuuper awesome! I would love to see her background story or anything about why she doesnt like boys/mans/teenagers. But like I already said: I WANT TO MEET HER!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you for the feedback. Also, I love your username on the grounds that I'm hoping it's about the Super-sized-mcshizzle-man-bad-boy-supreme.

Of course it is, who else could it be if not the great man Leo Valdez.

If anyone is still getting notifications from this chat, I updated her profile again. Take a look if you'd like!