forum Critique this Bean
Started by Diana and Anne's Movie
tune

people_alt 2 followers

@CinnamonRoll

Hi!! I'm just gonna jump right in and go, in the classic fashion, top down…

First note: "Messy," while it is a flaw, is not nearly enough to make this character seem human. Is he disliked? Is he bad at any particular subject? Does he have a hard time talking about emotions or deep subjects? Also, I couldn't help but notice that you left a lot of fields blank. On the personality page, it is especially helpful to fill out all of the fields–not for me, but for you to understand your character. One notable one is probably the talents. Everyone is at least a little good at something!

I like how you use Myers-Briggs!

So… he's atheist, then? I appreciate the backstory, trust me, but just slap 'atheist' at the end. Also, under politics, that's a big flaw right there! (On top of that, I've always found it useful to rate my characters on a scale of liberal-ness. ;P)

Okay, I'm very sad. Backstory! Backstory! I love this lil bean, but I need to know why he is who he is! Why does he cosplay? Why is he a dispatcher? Why does he like anime? Backstory tells us why!

Overall, a cute lil character. Fill him out a bit more and he'll be great!