forum Critique the quack!
Started by @Yamatsu
tune

people_alt 1 follower

Deleted user

She's great. IDK why but I don't think pastries is the best favorite food for her…maybe something like fish or rice? She seems as if she would like Asian food. She also seems like a kind-of mentor figure….maybe if she was more open (just a little tiny bit) she would make a great mentor figure. How old is she, by the way? I think I missed that.

@Yamatsu

She's 31. I imagine that she is in a city that is basically a colony, down in the desert. She spends most of her time in the hospital or at her home, so that's why she's paler than everyone else. I imagine that she is the more logical of the trio, mostly because of the fact that she spends her workday operating or being a general doctor. Compare that to Yama and Aqua, far more likely to use their heads to ram rather than think, and she would be a good foil for them. That could help with the mentor image that you've got.

As for pastries, seeing as she's in a colony filled with people used to the comforts of home, I assume that pastries like eclairs, cannolis, cakes, and such would be the dessert of choice for those still beating the sand out of their shoes.

Deleted user

Now those pastries make sense! :)
And yeah, as long as she's somewhat older than the others, and actually mentors, then she's great. maybe she should have a bit more background, if she's an important character then maybe you should get into that more. Other than that, she's golden.