forum Critique my main character?
Started by @Ok_Kaii group
tune

people_alt 53 followers

@I-make-stuff

Okay, here goes:

  • Appearance:
    When you say deep red/cool skin tone, you mean that she has a warm skin tone that you think looks interesting, right? I was just confused by the slash you used lol
    Also, 128 pounds is a little (more than a little) underweight for a woman who is 5'10. I'd say at least 145, and that's a starting point.
    Just a suggestion, but why does she dye her hair? Does she dislike her natural hair color? Did people make fun of her hair before (was it curly and dark, but now it's blonde and straight to conform to peer pressure)?

  • Nature:
    Oh, she can be invisible! That's cool - how exactly does it work? What limits on her ability are there, or at what cost does her powers come at?
    Why is she so afraid of being a social outcast - is there some kind of backstory, or is it just one of those things about growing up?
    What moral impact does her habitual lying have on her? Does she have remorse - if so, how is it expressed? Does she cry alone in her room, or does she break things? What drugs does she use - how'd she get hooked? Does she use those as an escape?
    What kind of moral repercussions does she get from taking her "friends'" boyfriends? What kind of backlash does she receive?
    By dumb, do you mean she's academically not doing well, or do you mean she has a swollen teenage head that encourages her to do fun/adventurous/dangerous stuff? What's her friend like, the one who goes with her when they're doing daring things?
    When she 'shuts down' when she's sad, how exactly does that come out? Does she just hide out in her room alone, or does she still go with her friend groups, but just without her typical spunk? How exactly is that emoted?
    Who exactly died, other than her friend? When was this? Do you have a plan for what happened, or are you still in your beginning stages here?
    Again, back to the powers - neat! How do they work in her life, how does she control them? Does she like having them, or would she rather not have them? And just for yourself, do you have a backstory as to how she got them?
    Okay, so she can give advice - is she one of those people who is more able to help others than themselves? Maybe you could flesh that out more - it would be interesting to see her inner struggle with wanting to help people and wanting to fit in.
    Fashion, photography, and gardening. Interesting! You fleshed out her interest in fashion pretty well - photography, does that tie into her Instagram account? Or is it more landscape pictures, or pictures of her crazy antics, or what? And gardening - why does she like gardening? Is there a backstory? Did she do it when she was little with her grandmother, before she died?

  • Social
    Why are her favorites her favorites? Is there a backstory to them? For example, does she like chameleons because she can see her own powers in them? Or does she like them just because they're cool? Etc.

  • History
    Oh, you're still working on her power backstory. Okay, cool. Also, how does her power influence her everyday life? Does she ever have an incident with them that leads to embarrassment? Etc.

  • Relationships
    Does her family know about her drug use and frequent sex? Do they have opinions, if they do know?
    Do they know about her powers? Did she inherit them from one of them?

Good work, she seems pretty complex underneath the surface-level high school hot girl. Good luck! Sorry this was such a monster of a comment.

@Ok_Kaii group

Nina Roco
Hey!! thank you so much for such an in-depth critique of Stella, I really needed it lmao :)) I'm working on her love interest, Aaron's, page right now, would you critique him for me once I'm done? your insight helped me a lot with Stella! :) ill totally return the favor if you want me to! thank you!!- kai <3

@I-make-stuff

Yeah, I write stuff on paper, so it takes a while to transfer it to character sheets lol
Sure, go ahead! I'd love to hear what you have to say.