forum Critique My Lovely Little Muffin

Started March 16, 2018 by Deleted user

tune

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I'm throwing her to the wolves.
Hopefully she forgives me….

Hey Tiny Zombie Cat!
Here at Blue Duck Studios, we like to provide three character reviews for three very different people in case your wondering why there's a lot of writing. Any who, here you go!

Ara McKalin:

Brooklynn: I really liked now you kept her eye scars, even though Bas probably could have healed them when he got her eyes for her. I would have liked to see her making the decision to keep the scars, or be kinda glad to still have them as a warning, or reminder, or something. It also says that she “just wants to overcome her fears”. Does being in wide open spaces when she rock climbs, or horse back rides help? You might want to add that she wants to eventually work in the Prime Leaders office as motivation to be less of a pushover, and become more confident. It also might be more realistic if Ara wasn’t with her parents when they were murdered, because I would have thought that seeing her parents murdered would have awakened her true power. All in all, the backstory was thrilling to read, and I genuinely liked learning about her. Ara sounds like a really cool person. Bas is a lucky man.

Delphi:First of all this seems like it’s going to be a very interesting story. As said above I really love the idea to keep the eye scars. It shows how strong she is as a character and gives a depth that’s very nice. She seems very diverse in the skills and hobbies department, and I like that you didn’t give her a flat personality. Maybe add a little bit more on the Flaw category? While I like that she has more than one flaw, people feel more connected with a flawed character. Adding little things especially helps, like where the flaw came from in her history. How do her flaws and prejudices limit her in her decision making? Completely unrelated to the things said prior, I loved her backstory. She’s not some pretty princess, Ara’s very strong. Overall I loved the character, she’s very diverse and sounds very interesting! I am excited for this story to be written. If you ever need someone to edit chapter drafts ;)

Tallinn: I am a fan of how your character fits together quite nicely quiet like a puzzle. Especially concerning the motives for the character, which are reasonable with a character containing that set of traits. However, just by me reading over your character prejudices, I can’t seem to figure out exactly what her stance against those things are (except the fear of course.) Just for future editors, I’d recommend making the stance towards those things easier to determine (e.i. A very strong opinion against cages, etc.) I would also recommend deciding in what scenes she bites her bottom lip. Does she do it when aroused? Bored? As well as stated above, it would be a wise decision to add more flaws as to not make your character slightly overpowered/overpowering.

Your character is extremely well thought out, and good luck!
-The Blue Duck Team

I am simply enthralled by what you guys had to say. Thank you so much!
Your advice really has got me thinking about somethings about Ara that do need some tweaking and fine tuning.
I've honestly been working on her and just staring at it all for over a month now and could not for the life of me figure out what was missing so what you all said really helps.

I'm happy that you guys liked the general basis for the story as well that gets me excited about what future readers might think. I'd love for you guys to do Baz as well but he's still being a little stubborn in the "coming out of my head gracefully" department. As soon as he's done i'd love to get in touch about him.

Thank you thank you thank you!!

TZK ^–^

We loved reading about Ara, and are super excited you asked us to give you feedback on Baz. Whenever you're ready for us to look at him, let us know!
-The Blue Duck Team

Hello @TinyZombieKat!
I have to say, Ara is an amazing character! She's very balanced and detailed and is a character that I could totally get into! I tried to think of a critique, but the Blue Duck Team already gave you such good advice.
I just want to applaud you for how great she is (and you seem to be a very talented writer too, considering the amount of thought, effort, and cohesion put into her character)
Well done!! :D
Happy writing,
Grace <3