forum Critique my edge lord

Started December 24, 2019 by Caboose

tune

Also main issue what would do you think this guy would name his swords?

Nvm I got it. The second sword is a short sword so he calls the long one "Fang" and the short one "Claw"

Honestly, I don't think this character needs the justification for sharpening his canines; it seems pretty in character lol. Solid base, but a lot of refining could be done, maybe on his motivations and general nature, and make sure you aren't just developing him with being "edgy" in mind; the most successful "edgy" characters will still have more layers than just that (given Ronald does have a lot of justification for being angsty, but you don't want that to be an excuse to not further develop him). You have something good to work with here! I think you can really make this character strong with a little more thought and development! :)

Yeah when I wrote that he was pretty fresh, but I do plan to do a lot more with him since he is a main character, so I wanna use his relationships with the other characters to explore him further. So that will explore his unfailing loyalty, also his arch will have him gain his honour through the mentoring of the main character. He won't end up perfect like his overall attitude will be toned down at best but his actions will be more noble.