You're very welcome!
Now, without further a due, here they are!
Julianna
Overview
As a minor character that is also a protagonist, how does she fit into that role? What other roles does she fit? Try to go beyond simply having protagonist. Don’t feel bad if you have trouble with this, I have trouble with this myself.
Are there any reasons behind her nicknames? How does she feel about these? How does she feel when someone that she normally wouldn’t allow to call her by one of her nicknames? These are just some questions to ask yourself…. Jules and Julie are common shortened variations on Julianna’s name, so I don’t have any complaints there.
Looks
Though I don’t include the weight and height for my characters, I do have to say that perhaps you should decide on what her height/weight is. Keep in mind that this also affects her body type. In the most extreme (on the lower end) she’d be underweight; on the high end she’d be within a healthy weight (I used the numbers you provided to figure this out). https://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/educational/lose_wt/BMI/bmicalc.htm This site should help with getting a fitting height/weight for her.
In what ways is her skin tone ‘light’? Is she tan? Consider her ethnicity for determining her skin tone and describing it.
In what ways is she thin? Her waist/torso, arms? Not to be cliched or anything, but could she be described as ‘skin and bone’?
So, is her scar jagged and rough or smooth and straight (describe the shape of it)? How visible/noticeable is it? How did she acquire the scar? Keep in mind that scars would match/reflect however they were caused. I honestly had a problem with Harry’s lightning-bolt-shaped scar. If it was caused by a magical blast from He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, as J.K. Rowling stated in the books, it should’ve probably resembled burnt skin tissue.
So, if she’s a muggle, how does she possess magical abilities? Just wondering. It’s been a long time since I’ve dealt with HP.
55”=4’7”
63”=5’3”
Nature
This goes in-line with what I said about her being ‘thin’. I’m sorry, but there’s no such thing as ‘between healthy and sickly’. She’s either sick/anorexic (skin and bone), or she’s not. That said, she could have her good and bad days, just like anyone suffering from cancer.
What other sweets does she enjoy? Can she be bribed with anything else? Also, wouldn’t her being bribed with chocolate be a flaw? ;-) ;-)
I’m a bit confused. You say that she enjoys jokes, yet rarely gets involved with pranks; this seems contradictory to me.
Social
Why is teal her favorite colour? Not really important, but it can help with her characterization. The same goes with her favorite food, possession, weapon, and animal. Job and occupation can mean the same thing, so student and prefect can fall under both of these sections.
History
I love that you have her remaining close with her brother! I have 3 older siblings, and we’re extremely close-knit.
Kaden
Overview
Same questions that I had for this section for Julianna.
Looks
He’s within his normal weight range for a person of his height, so good job there!
Maybe you should put ‘toned’ under his body type as well. You describe him as athletic, so he should at least show some musculature.
65”=5’5”
Nature
Why doesn’t he cause as much mischief now? If he learned from a past mischievous mistake, what was it?
Social
Same things that I said for Julianna.
History
Pretty solid history.
Liam
Overview
Here we go, here’s your main character! Being your main character, he can have multiple roles in the story.
What’s the reason behind his nicknames? How does he feel about them, etc?
Looks
Weight/height…. On the lower most extreme he just barely makes it to a healthy weight. On the higher end he’s extremely underweight!
Elaborate further on his skin tone and body type
55”=4’7”
175”=14’7” Is this guy a giant, or was this a typo?
Nature
Great mannerisms and motivations!
His anger and the fact that he can be bribed is a flaw (can hardly be drawn back into his usual calm self. Liam can also be easily bribed).
Social
Why????
Rosalie
Overview
Are there any reasons behind her nicknames? How does she feel about these? How does she feel when someone that she normally wouldn’t allow to call her by one of her nicknames?
Looks
Elaborate on skin tone and body type.
Nature
In some cases, being so quick to forgive people can become a flaw. It can lead to your character being hurt emotionally, physically, or even lead to them getting into some very serious trouble…. For example, legal trouble.
Social
Why???
I noticed that all of these characters, except for Julianna, all talk fast when excited. You need to come up with things to better differentiate your characters. If they all feel the same, your reader will quite possibly lose interest not only in the characters, but the story as well. Plus it can get confusing and become difficult to know your characters from one another. I do have to say that, for me, they all seem a bit too similar, and that can either be a bad thing or a good thing, depending on how you write their personalities within the story itself.
