forum Critique my characters????
Started by @WaffleFries
tune

people_alt 2 followers

@CinnamonRoll

PREFACE: Bless your SOUL shoutouts fuel me THANK YOUUU <3

Okay then… Oh my, three! Hope no one beats me to it…

Starting with Amelia, top down…

Hmm, I would add more flaws. Distraction is fine, but it's always better to get nit-picky with your characters. Is she bad at math? Struggles talking about emotion? I'm just throwing out ideas, but a good minimum is 2-3 major flaws. Other than that, everything's pretty smooth here–if she were the MC, I'd prompt you to add more detail, but you don't necessarily have to. If you want to, though, that would be great!

YAY POLITICAL INCLINATIONS! I love it when people include these, it's so helpful!

Okay… backstory. Again, she's a secondary character so this isn't as important, but I would still prompt you to add more background! It's good to explain relationships and even add a few random details to make your character seem more human.

I'll overall at the end, so moving to Cara…

Top down, naturally…

Mannerisms are okay, but I would throw in a couple more physical tics! Again, MORE FLAWS. This is a main character, so she needs to have more issues to make her more realistic! Specify more under prejudices. What classes are we talking about? Okay, her motivation is vengeful, but she's described as bubbly–this can work, but you need to add a little more context!

Side note here: for Amelia, throw in her relationship to Cara! I'm assuming that one exists.

Oh. The politics are gone. POLITICS! They're helpful, I swear!

Okay, now I'm sad. You need more backstory! This is the MC! She was murdered! Make sure you explain everything about her. What part of her upbringing contributed to her prejudice? Why does her killing make her so vengeful? What keeps her from moving on? You NEED more here.

Again, add more relationships to other characters! Your characters aren't islands–branch out!

Last but not least: Elizabeth! Top down…

Very good job on motivations, mannerisms, and flaws. And prejudices. Oh, my, I can relate to her!! Everything here is working in tandem. It all flows smoothly. A bit more depth would be nice as she is an MC, but it's pretty smooth besides that.

THE POLITICS HAVE RETURNED! good. They deserve to be here. I would say that the last major complaint I have is, again, the backstory! THIS one I want a lot more on. Why is she a PI? Why does she know how to upgrade phones like that? Why does she want to help people so much?

Well, the overall: they all have really, really solid foundations. I think that if you can root all of their traits in the backstory, you'll have some great characters!

I hope that this helps you!! :DDD