forum Critique my characters?

Started February 02, 2018 by Deleted user

tune

Would someone like to judge them? Here are there links.

Your characters are on private

Oh, how do i fix that?

Go to ur character and click the triangle shaped thingy. u should see ur character's privacy settings. change it from private to public then copy the url.

Nvm i fixed it. They should be public now.

Okay, for Megan: A mannerism is a small action someone does habitually. so twiddling her thumbs, tapping her feet, yawning when others are talking, etc. those are mannerisms. what u have in the mannerisms section can go in personality type. motivation is fine. I like her flaws okay, but maybe add in very possessive friend? it's an easier way to express what you've already said. for prejudices, that's not really a prejudice. maybe say "hates everyone her friends hate" or "hates people who may have hurt her friends in the past, regardless of how they act now". prejudices are bad. protecting your friends from people who hurt them are good and not a prejudice. her talent is really interesting and funny. hobbies are fine. maybe add a little more to her personality type. its kinda bare bones. Now the biggest problem is the history section. her education is high, as in high school? Add that. also, her background is just "good"??? what does that mean? good how? the background is the most important part and u didn't put anything. this is where u talk about her relationships, her growth, everything. pls, pls, pls add more background! Other than that, she seems like a really good character.

For Tom: I'm instantly interested by the eyepatch. nice touch. mannerisms are okay, more mannerism-like than Megan's are. I like his motivation and flaws, but i'm totally lost about the prejudice. can you explain that some?? Talents and hobbies are all good, but i'm kinda concerned about how short his personality type is. describe his personality in depth. tell us everything! His education is confusing too. Medium education? I've never heard of that. has he started high school yet? his background is intriguing but incredibly short! how did they get in the woods? how did his sister react? does this tie back into his motivation? what did she do for him? how did they get home? how did their parents react? the background seems so interesting but u don't say enough! Overall a good character! I want to know more about him.

good luck, hope I helped :D

What I thought the education level meant was how smart they are, not Schools, so I'll fix that. I am not really good at prejudices. It's more of a quote that he lives up to. He saved his sister but ever since then he's been very skittish and shy so he doesn't know if he's brave or weak.
I'm not used to filling out these kinds of forms I just write and get plot and background going and when I did this I was really tired. I'll go through and edit both of them and do more research on prejudices and mannerisms.

Okay, I went through and edited both of them. The reason for lack of information was because I had each character do only their story. I was really absent minded with that way of thinking and I believed that Audra being bullied was only part of Audra's story. I was confused with prejudices but now I get it, so thank you.
I thought that Megan's past wasn't interesting enough to add compared to James'. I also don't want to reveal the plot of the whole story, which is stupid when I think about it because this is where you share your whole story.
So they've been edited now I hope they make sense. :)

If you want Audra's side of the story, here's her link.