forum Critique my Characters?

Started February 27, 2018 by Deleted user

tune

These are my 3 main characters, and I was wondering if they're developed enough and believable. Do they seem like they could all get along well as best friends?
Is there anything wrong that sticks out?

Hey! Here are my opinions in order of each character.

Alec- I've noticed in the prejudices, he 'tries not to, but fails sometimes', are there any specific prejudices? Also, it might just be me, but I feel as if the personality should be a bit more fleshed out. (What I did with my characters was I took the 16 personalities test and answered accordingly, then just typed the result.) Lastly, is your universe set in 2021? He's 18 and he was born in 2003, which doesn't add up, so one of those should be altered (Unless of course if the universe is set in 2021, which in that case the ages are correct.)
Haiden- 5'11 and 145 lbs? That is slightly disproportionate, but still acceptable, haha, I don't have much else to critique about him.
Daxon- In the personality type, it says he's outgoing and introverted? The two are sort of contradicting, but I think that's just about all I have.
Hope I could help! I love the characters, the ideas you have for them are quite intriguing! :)

@"Aloe Vera"
Thank you!! The story is set in 2021. The 16 personalities quiz is actually a good idea I hadn't thought out before.

Ok, I'm reading them one at a time, so:

ALEC: Great character, pretty well developed, very diverse! Aside from what @Aloe Vera said, the only thing I'd reccomend is to give him more talents. You've added quite a few hobbies, but almost no talents, so maybe also put some of the hobbies as talents, since he's probably good at atleast three of them :). Does he have any talents he doesn't like? For example, I have a friend who's really good at lying but hates it. Love his clothing description!

HAIDEN: Pretty much nothing to add, he seems really fleshed out!

DAXON: Again, very detailed! Quick question, it says he's the 'Vice President' in your Universe. Does that mean he's one of the main characters? Also, maybe elaborate a bit on his mannerisms, does he stammer, bite his nails, fidget, bite his lips etc.

Awesome characters, keep writing!

Alec: as previously said by @"Aloe Vera", expand on his prejudices. Right now its very vague and doesn't really state anything. Does he think change is nothing but trouble?
Why did you put quotation marks around big brother? if he's older he is her big brother. Is she taller than him?

Daxon: I do not agree with @"Aloe Vera" on the subject of outgoing and introverted being contradictory. Introverts can be very outgoing when it concerns certain people they're comfortable with. In any other situation, they might be successfully outgoing for a short period of time before they become tired and need some alone time. Basically, if you wish to keep this the same keep in mind that he might be very upbeat when one on one with his friends but grows quiet when someone else walks in.

Haiden: Not much to add here. Although Haiden's mannerisms might clash with Daxon's personality from time to time as he doesn't strike me as someone who pays a lot of attention to others. He might accidentally cross some lines.

As for your question if it's believable that they are best friends, yes. I do wonder how they initially met and bonded though.
Also, there's something weird going on with the backgrounds. It just keeps going to the right. Maybe that's just me though.

Alec:
Maybe give him a specific weight. Also, "Identefying Marks" means permenant things, like wings or a scar. You can make an extra "clothing" section.Also, "Tries not to have any, but fails sometimes" is not a 'prejudice'. Tell us what his prejudices are when he 'fails not to have any'. I do like how you gave him a lot of flaws without making him seem stupid.

Haiden:Again, clothing isn't an "Identefying Mark". I can really get a feel for what this character is like.

Daxon: What is "average?" Again with the clothes. I love dis character.