forum Critique my character please!

Started July 09, 2018 by @Ok_Kaii group

tune

This is her-

Thank you!!

Hi!
I read your character description, and I love how thorough it is. I would love to read the story she is connected to. I am writing a character who sounds very similar to her (wings and all), and I would love it if maybe I could have you critique her someday when her profile is a little more complete.

Thank you! I tend to be long-winded with characters so im glad its enjoyable. And I would love to look at your character when shes complete!

This is a great character, however here are a few thoughts:
-Add some mannerisms; does she fidget, play with her hair, etc? What are her tells? How does she carry herself?
-There is no section for her personality, which is weird because you seemed to have put a lot of thought into almost everything else. Look at MBTI (Myers Briggs Type Indicator) to start; I've found that it's really helpful for character development.
-There also are no prejudices.
-Ok so she doesn't care about her emotions but easily gets emotionally attached to stuff. These are kinda conflicting traits, and conflicting traits like this exist in humans all the time, but it can be difficult to write convincingly.
-Make sure you know how to write ASPD and PTSD.
-Usually when someone puts that their character doesn't care about politics it's because they don't think politics will be integral to the story or they're just being lazy, but you specified that Dove is apathetic and only really cares for her own survival, so as long as it's in character, that's fine.
-No birthday.
Everything can always be more detailed, but I think you did a good job making Dove a person. I love the thought you put into her, and I'd be interested in reading your story.

Ok, for starters, I LOVE her character art. Also, if her main focus is survival, that makes her sound tough, yet in her personality type, it says that she can be happy and bubbly.