forum Critique my character PLEASE
Started by @Periwinkle_
tune

people_alt 41 followers

@M.W.Poel

Sure, I'm going to comment on every little thing I see then. :)

  1. How long is her ponytail?
  2. Expand on the type of athletic. Is she athletic like a runner? A ballerina? A kickboxer?
  3. Elaborate on mannerisms, it's a good start but you can get more out of this kind of thing. How does she laugh? How does she express her anger?
  4. Don't use a single word for the motivation bit. A single word can be interpreted a thousand ways. Does she avoid adventure at all costs? Or does she look for it? Why would she?
  5. Flaws is a bit of the same problem, elaborate on this. Why is it a flaw? How exactly does it affect her personal life and the world around it that makes it a flaw? Passive aggressiveness is not a flaw if kept to an acceptable amount or when done within the right group of people, but if it's constantly to everyone (including that poor elder lady trying to give her home-baked cookies or something) it's a different story.
  6. Again, WHY? Hating rich people is the effect of the prejudice, the prejudice is the general idea she has about them that makes it so.
  7. Athletically inclined in what way? When answering this question keep in mind that it is virtually impossible to be good at everything. Runners just need sturdy strong legs that can carry them far while gymnasts (especially those performing on the beam and floor) give priority to flexibility and stamina. A runner's muscular legs would only get in the way of a gymnast's flexibility. (whatch this great video to overexaggerate my point)
  8. But what would her hobbies by if she did have time then? Not super important, your current answer is fine but it helps to figure out what she finds important.
  9. Personally, I don't like using personality types like INTJ because I feel like the description is sort of generic. Why don't you put it down in your own words just to make sure it's in your head?

Basically, just elaborate and ask yourself the questions WHY? and HOW? a lot and you should be fine for the first draft of your story. The bit that you've already written down seems promising as long as you really think about how it ties in with both her and your world.