forum Critique my character!! And be harsh lol just for fun

Started January 22, 2018 by @WriteOutofTime

tune

I saw lots of other people doing this so here I am. (Just joined yesterday.) Constructive criticism please okay thanks

It's on private. Could you change it to public sharing?

I'm realizing that some stuff is kinda confusing since you don't know the universe but I haven't made the universe yet…err here's the location The Lower World

You need to set that character's access to public if you want it critiqued. If you don't know how to do it, click on the dots connected with lines, kind of like a triangle. That should pull up the options so you can set it to public.

yeah idk I tried setting it to public… its not really working yikes

yeah idk I tried setting it to public… its not really working yikes

I had the same problem, if you're working on a computer currently but have a mobile device, try setting it to public from there.

Okay I think that worked!! Thanks

Hi! He's public now, so I'm gonna go top down…

Personality isn't that bad! Here's one little blip I noticed: he's motivated by fear, but also always ready to fight. These can work in tandem, but ONLY if the fight is his only option; otherwise, I would assume he would run (because, you know, fear). Another thing I don't quite get is how he's a fearful person with awesome leadership qualities. Again, it can work, but only if you go a bit more in-depth; surface level explanation isn't enough for contradictory traits like those.

For religion, you basically described atheism? I do love the explanation you've provided (it adds depth), but maybe substitute 'atheist' for 'none.'

Oh no. Not good. You have an AMAZING foundation of traits building up, but none of them have a foundation in the backstory. These traits need a support system! Tell me why he's so afraid, why he hates the government, why he hold onto the hope of living above ground again. Like I said, you have awesome stuff; just support it!!

Okay. Overall? A VERY well-developed character. Loads of human traits, with a nice job on some touchy subjects (prejudices, politics, etc). Back them all up with a good backstory and you've got an awesome MC here!!

I hope that this helps you!! :DDD

@CinnamonRoll Thank you!!!! that's some amazing advice actually I feel like somehow you should do this for a living. If you're good at something never do it for free lol. Anyways thanks so much I'm gonna follow ur advice :D