forum Critique my character

Started January 14, 2020 by Deleted user

tune

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this is one of my characters

I'll do my best! I just did one for someone else lol

• Overview: Alright, so I get that she's suppose to be ancient, but she can't technically be infinite. She can be immortal, and live forever, but infinite doesn't really work. Why? Because it's impossible to be born and be forever alive. Even if not born, and she was just formed, it isn't really logical. So you could say she was as old as her universe, being thousands of centuries old. It's just one itsy bitsy thing that bothered me. Besides that, looks good!

• Looks: It all looks good to me! I mean you can always deepen it, but I can get a picture of her in my head, so it works!

• Mannerisms: It's a good one, but I'd add more. Does she have a facial tick? Like rolling her eyes or biting her lip? Like I told someone else, look at friends/family/strangers/yourself and pick some you like! One is fine, but more than one would be better!

• Prejudices: Alright, when I look at her, one smacks me in the face that isn't listed. If she doesn't believe there is a meaning to life, then I bet she hates the people who believe in incarnation or other religions. So she can have Prejudices against those people.

• Personality: I have one thing, how does she express her emotions? If she got happy, how would she react? Or angry? I'd make a list and describe how she'd react. Besides that, it seemed a little bland, so I'd put a little more depth into it if you can think of something. If not, it works!

• Social: RQ just little things, 1.) Why are her favorite things her favorite? Just putting it out there! 2.) Occupation and job, basically the same thing, so pick your favorite out of the two!

• History: That isn't much of a background, I'd suggest explaining why she became (or how) the angel of death. Give her some History! It'll make her come alive if you give her a story, maybe one nobody will ever know. It'll help explain why she is the way she is.

• Family: She could have a horse for a "pet". A horse to reflect death, and all that jazz. But that's only a suggestion, it doesn't matter!

That's all I have for you, because other than the above, she's great! Besides one little tip, maybe add a clothing section, just so we can get a good grasp on what she wears. I hope I helped you out! Happy developing! :)