forum Critique My Character :)

Started March 14, 2018 by Rachel

tune

Hi! Your character is pretty interesting so far; one thing I would suggest is maybe giving Jocelyn a clue about her parents' murder. Since her main motivation is finding her parents' murderers, there should be something for her to follow up on. Maybe a dying message left by her dad from his blood, or the killer's footprint made from a really unique shoe, or a dropped wallet with the killer's ID in it… okay don't do that xD But you see where I'm going with this.
Anyway, I hope this helped! Good luck!

Oh my goodness, I didn't even think of that thank you so much!

No problem! Glad I could help :)

Hello~
Let's take a look :)
I think Jocelyn sounds pretty good so far :) everything is balanced and she seems like a believable, realistic character. The only critique I have is to add even more. With personality especially, give us more details :D Show us the ins and outs of her mind. Tell us how she got into her hobbies. Really describe her motivations and talents. Get into detail about her quirks and mannerisms (in my opinion, those two things really make a character more than just "a character," and makes them more like a real human.)
Otherwise, Jocelyn is wonderful and I would love to know more about her story :)
Happy writing
Grace <3

Hello!
I like you character, she seems very realistic. I think you should mention and/or think about her emotions. What she thinks and why. I think it would help develop the character and explain more about her nature and behavior.
Good luck with the rest of your story, I would love to see how the plot unfolds!
-Minnie :)