forum Critique my character??

Started February 04, 2018 by @Raziel Gallephraya

tune

I've spent a lot of time on this character but I would really appreciate critiques!

I absolutely love them!!! Do they live in our universe or another one?? Are they going to develop certain skills or something?? I can't wait to find out!! They have such an AWESOME backstory!!

Thank you so much @childoftheuniverse!! I'm not sure if they're going to be the main character or not, so if I am going to develop skills, I haven't really given that any thought. Also, they live in our universe, I just haven't created a universe to attach them to. Thank you again!

USUALLY I GO IN ORDER BUT I GOTTA COMMENT ON THAT BACKSTORY FIRST!!! soooooo good. seriously it was incredibly interesting. tbh I want to see it made into an anime. that's legit an anime background. okay sorry I'm gushing moving on….

LOVE their appearance and name. seriously, the silver blue hair and the black eye??? I'm getting more anime vibes and I like it. here's an actual critique: a mannerism is a repeated motion that someone habitually does. so twiddling thumbs, tapping fingers, waving their hands when they're mad –those are mannerisms. what you have in the mannerism section now can go into the personality type section. I like their motivations, flaws, etc. very realistic. my only complaint is that you could add a bit more to personality type. it's a little short imo.

religion is good, I like how it adds insight into their character. however politics is a little off. if they don't want idiots running the country, that's a political leaning. if you figure out what they mean by idiot, then you can probably figure out a political leaning from that (i.e., I don't like idiots who are sexist and aren't for equal rights, making me somewhat Liberal, see?) everything else in the social section is brilliant.

again, amazing backstory. just…splendid. I think you have a really good character here.

good luck

Thank you so much @writelikeyourerunningoutoftime that really helps! I'll try and figure that out, and also thank you for the kind comments about the backstory haha.

No problem!!

They sound very intriguing! I'm curious to know more about their story.
I like their personality and flaws, all I can critique would maybe be more info in positive traits?
But besides that it's all good! I'm interested to know about the murderer.

They are nonbinary, its not his its theirs

@childoftheuniverse Oh I'm so sorry! Yes I respect that, I apologize. They picture threw me off. Again, I'm sorry!

Ahh I see where you're coming form you're perfectly fine :)

*from

like the character design it is quite nice and i like how they think that they are better that what they really are

Hey if any of you are interested, I wrote a (very bad but ok I guess) small story about what happened the first night Raziel took Apollo in, it's in the notes if you really want to read it, but thank you guys for the feedback it's really helped me!

Also, thank you @SleepyDuskflower and @Karena S for the kind comments! Also sorry the picture threw you off I tried to comment on it in a few places so that wouldn't happen, sorry! Apollo has more feminine features they just have that hairstyle, but I can see where it threw you off haha

@"Raziel Gallephraya" It's alright! Again I'm sorry, it's because I read the description and left for a bit before coming back to leave the comment!
But I read the notes and I really like it! I'm really curious about what will happen, it gives off such a good sense of mystery. And I love the characters!