Most of the forums for character critiques i used to visited are momentarily closed, so i'm asking anyone who can to take a look at my characters ;w;
Avatar - Tierlan
Narion - Narion Krysmenor
Tanis - Theyon
Alphonse - Alphonse Randegger
Phoenix - Phoenix Hemsworth
Im gonna review each character individually
Avatar -
Height: are you telling me he is legit 7 stinkin' feet tall!? holy smokes might wanna add Sasquatch to his nicknames lolol! but being serious, you may wanna explain a wee bit more if thats the case. like…is that a common height for his species?
Body type: this kinda ties in with the height and weight. because if he really is super tall, then he's gotta be nothing but skin and bone. because someone who is 5'6" at 120 lbs is considered a little thin. So if he is 7 ft, then you may need to add A LOT more pounds than that.
Motivations/Flaws: theres one thing that seems to clash. he will protect his friends/family, yet hes a pacifist. so even if his friends/family are in danger, will he refuse to fight?
Favorite animal: i just LOVE that he like ducks lolol. something about that is quite fitting!
Background: i would expect his village being destroyed and wife and kid missing to affect him a little more. maybe make him a little more cynical?
Pets: TBH i love the lion!!!! i laughed out loud about putting bread on its head! so cute <3
overall i REALLY like this character! he seems like the cool/collected bff sort of guy.
Narion -
Eye color: my first impression (just going by the fact that xe is also blind) is that it kinda sounds like what cataracts look like. i REALLY like that fact that xir eyes reflect light!!
Talents: with the fact that she can tell what a person is feeling, would she be an empath? thats gonna be a big help with the fact that she doesnt trust others (because she can sense other, more negative intentions)
Politics: i totes agree with the humans system being trash lololol (even though its different universes)
Favorite color: so, since she cant see, instead of it being colors, maybe it could be her favorite energies? since she can sense them. i also wonder, even though shes blind, can she "see" auras?
Hair: so, in the gallery, the hairstyle kind of contradicts what is said the the hairstyle portion
xe seems so frail! poor thing! i just wanna hug her!!!!
BTW! you may wanna include the species description in Avatars profile too. so go ahead an disregard the whole sasquatch thing lolol!
Tanis-
i will be VERY honest. i really dont see anything that needs to be fleshed out! im not gonna lie, i think hes my favorite character so far! you did insanely well with his development! Kudos to you!
but…how on gods earth do you pronounce his name?! lolol
Alphonse-
Flaws: practical and overemotional contradict a wee bit. usually if someone is over-emotional, their emotions tend to rule over better judgement. just my opinion and what ive witnessed irl.
hes pretty good overall. i do feel like something is missing, but i really cant tell what!
Phoenix -
Skin tone: there are a lot of colors to "White". like, is she a piece of paper? does she glow in the dark? or are we talking fair, porcelain…etc?
Body type: a character can have small shoulders, but big hips. so you may want to do into a little more detail as to the shape of her body/face
Mannerisms: crosses arms while talking…sooo like she ALWAYS crosses her arms? or only when she gets agitated while talking? Inflating her chest kind of reminds me of a bird ruffling its feathers to look bigger lolol!
Motivations: awe :'(
Favorite Possession: i would expect her grimoire (if she has one) to be her favorite. just…SOMETHING that has even a slight significance to her/her powers
Notes: AHAHAHAHAHAHA! THATS SO FUNNY AND I DONT EVEN KNOW WHY
she seems like a kickass little fighter! i like her!
@Hac_KinG hi :D thanks for the reply. Now, about the characters:
Avatar
You did point out some things about him, such as his height and wight. Yes, it’s actually pretty normal for his specie to be this tall (they’re not human so ;v; ) I’m currently working on his specie’s ref sheet, so not all the info is there yet but to clear it for you, his specie is not entirely physical, they’re almost like entities or something. The body is not as consistent as a normal human’s, so naturally he weighs way less than he should (truth is, his weight is never mentioned in the story, but i felt compelled to add it since the site asked for it :P )
Motivations: yes, he is a pacifist and he will protect his family/friends, but on his own he almost never fights, resulting in him getting severely injured most of times (oh Avatar, you dummy)
Background: losing everything made him depressive and he ceased contact with most of the people he knew and his best friends. It was never confirmed if his wife and child were actually dead, but since he wasn’t able to find them he presumed they had been killed (in reality, his child did survive but i’m not going to spoil it more than that :) ) He got pretty sad and silent after the incident, so his usual happy and cheerful self went missing for quite some time
I’m glad you like him and Kyrill :’D i was pretty unsure if Avatar was going to be a good character given how childish he was in the earliest ideas, but he seems to be pretty alright as he is now (about the ducks, they’re just so fascinating to lift up and watch them flap their legs like their crazy, they’re so adorable lol ;w; )
Narion
You did point out some things about her and i’m considering adding them, they’re so good! As for the hairstyle, yes, i know, but it was the only decent drawing of her that i could add, due to the low space and frequent site crashes :’) (i tried adding a picture of Avatar with his lion, but it didn’t let me) She cuts her hair somewhere in the story anyway. I’m so glad you like her ;v; She’s my personal favorite from all the characters, as she was probably the very first one to be created, so i feared she might not be very good or liked by people
Tanis
Aahhhh, i’m so happy you liked him :D He was one of my biggest insecurities, as he was so underdeveloped and totally not ready to be a main character, i’m glad he’s good now lol. As for his name, it’s pretty easy for me to pronounce it, maybe because of the different language (i’m romanian), but to help you, Tanthaliel is pronounced with the accent on the second syllable of his name, „tha” being pronounced as in Thanos and the "i" in "liel" pronounced as "e" (complicated stuff, i know :’))) ) – this is why people call him Tanis and not by his full name lmao
Aphonse & Phoenix
So these two are still a bit of a work in progress, as they were developed pretty late. Phoenix’s skin tone would be fair, like a red-head’s and her body type would be a rectangle towards a triangle (i suck at designing girls tbh ;-; ). She could have a grimoire, although i think she would use it rarely (some people just don't have favorite things), but it’s a pretty good idea, i love it. And yes, Phoenix shares my strong aversion towards paper napkins XD
Thanks for all the feedback, it helps me so much ;3;