forum Critique my baby children?
Started by @Lynnnnn
tune

people_alt 2 followers

@Lynnnnn

@Celestial-B

I'll have a go!

First Kendal!

So they have heterochromia? This is a very cliche and over used piece(?) of appearance that many, many people give to their characters. I'd recommend being very careful when giving your characters this trait because often, tons of people hate it. But, what shade exactly are their eyes? Is their pink one Magenta? Pastel? Punch? And is their silver one Metallic? Does it have a blue undertone? Is it Taupe? How did they get the scar on their cheek? I think you should give them a fewww more mannerisms! What do they do when they are scared? Excited? Nervous? Hmm, instead of doing the Myers briggs personality thing, I think you should go in depth and actually explain their personality. Tell me they are arrogant but they still care about some few people. Do you get when I mean? Eww, just straight up butter? Or like, butter on things lol? Why is that locket their favorite and what meaning does it have to them? Ok, their background is a bit small. What about before they died? What was their relationship like with their parents? Did they have any siblings or friends? Pets? What did they think about school? What was their goals and what did they want to do in life? And how exactly did they die in a storm?

Now, Aabigal!

She is very thin, not underweight, but thin. If she has any muscles at all, or is a bit curvy, she should weight at least 5-ish more pounds. What shade of blue exactly is her hair? Sky blue? Ocean Blue? Turquoise? What shade of green is her eyes too? Forest? Neon green? Lime green? Why does she want to be immortal so bad and why is it her biggest wish? The same thing about her personality type, explain it! What exactly is the neo science movement that she supports? Lol, what color even is gloomy vanilla? I looked it up and it didn't even show one color. What is her magic and why is it her favorite weapon? Why did her dad run away? How did her mom die?

Last, Diaa

How long exactly are her cornrows? She doesn't have very many mannerisms. What does she do when shes happy? When shes bored or not paying attention? When shes scared? Why does she think pacifists are stupid? Is she violent? And the same thing with her personality type as the other two. Why does she hate the government? Is that just what shes been taught? Or does she have a good reason to? What about her early life? You didn't mention any of that in her background! And how she got into drugs!

Good luck with your characters! Hope I helped some!