forum Critique another of my characters?

Started January 24, 2018 by @WriteOutofTime

tune

hope u enjoy :)

Yay!! My favorite thing~~in the classic fashion, top down…

This is more of a question than a critique–you listed humanity's and her own failings under motivations; does this lead to any sort of guilt in your character? Does she mask this guilt through anger?

Hmm, so she's strong, fast, a great leader, and good in a fight–but has no survival instinct. I could be misinterpreting how you define survival instinct (as I think that that could go a few different ways), but I feel like the traits listed would play into a strong survival instinct.

I love the explanation behind her religion!! Okay, I legit scream about this to everyone I review, BUT! I find it very helpful to rate my characters on a scale of liberal-ness (under politics). This helps explain how they would react to social issues.

Her backstory is pretty stable, as I can glean most of what happened to her husband from notes in other fields. I would still put that in the backstory, however, as it provides valuable insight into the basis of your character's motivations.

Overall, you definitely have a well-developed character here. One thing that I would highlight a bit more is the inevitable grief that comes from losing a spouse. You focused a lot on her anger, which is totally fine (as this is often a product of grief), but I think that the sadness should have a little bit more emphasis. No one descends COMPLETELY into anger; it's usually a front for grief. Other than that, everything else looks awesome!! She's an amazing addition to your unique universe!!

I hope that this helps you!! :DDD

@CinnamonRoll Thank you!!!!!! It hasn't been quite two years since her husband died (probably should add that somewhere rip) so she's still very much in the anger phase of grief. The survival thing stems from that –deep inside she's hurting and she wants to join her husband and be free from the grief/guilt. She doesn't even consciously realize it. your critique is helping so much already omg I just thought of all that now thank you so much lol