forum Critique and maybe draw my babies...?

Started July 22, 2018 by my_name_is_jackweewee_

tune

Please help me get my babies right? Here's the entire universe… not sure if it will give you access to the characters but here goes (there for a story I'm writing) Cardencia

It doesn't give me access to the characters, but the universe itself looks really interesting!

I'd be happy to draw your characters once I'm able to access them!

sorry, i'll just give you the links to them

These are the mains in the story I'm writing and would love feedback/drawings of them

@Jacque Oki! ^~^

Andi Spade:
-I think it's super cool that they're nonbinary. LGBTQ+ representation! (I'm a demiboy XD)
-Green hair! That's so cool! Is it natural or dyed? In my opinion, gray eyes are a tad overused considering how rare they are in real life. It's a bit cliche.
-I've never seen that mannerism in words before, but it's really unique. I like it! Their flaws are pretty solid, but I wouldn't count "doesn't sleep much" as one, because you typically can't control your sleep schedule. Perhaps make one of their flaws an effect of not getting sleep, like "cranky" or "fatigued." Also, I'm not judging or anything, but how do you use a personality type to cover anxiety? Your personality type is who you are.
-Overall, a cool character!
Caesar Club:
-His looks aren't all that cliche. So far, a pretty original guy!
-Could you elaborate on his mother's death being a motivation? Is she sick or something? Wait, is he a drunkard?
-I feel like he's this really awesome best friend "always has your back and is really funny" type of person. I love those characters! Good job.
Quinta Heart:
-YES Jade green eyes! My favorite eye color! XD sorry, I got overexcited.
-I really like her, but I couldn't help but notice that her profile isn't as detailed as the others. Is there a reason for that? Is she not as big of a character?
Yasmin Diaz:
-Can I just say that I love the name Yasmin?
-Do you know much about vitiligo? It's really interesting that you write a character who has it.
-Ooh, she has powers! This girl is super cool.
-I really love how developed she is! I would totally read about her.
I will work on the drawings! I will send them the second I'm done. I hope you like them!

Thanks so much for your response.
Andi
When I said that Andi uses his personality to cover it is that he is so naturally joyful and happy that you wouldn't expect him to have anxiety and after talking to my friend we decided that he shouldn't have grey eyes, I'm gonna change that to two different colours (one purple, one brown) But do not worry the heterochromia will have a backstory once I get around to it
Caesar
His mother died on earth while he was in Cardencia, after investigating his death the Sun King sends him quinta and andi down to earth to finish their mission…
The stories a work in progress but if you wanna give ur email ill send it through so far
*also thought you might be interested that Andi and Caesar start dating!!
Quinta
She *is just as big a character as Andi and Caesar I just haven't had much time to develop her as much!!
Yasmin
Thanq so much!!! She is possibly my favourite character so far!! As for how much I know about vitiligo, I'm getting a friend who suffers to help me with it
(Also some fun facts you might enjoy; she has a dragonfly tattoo on her leg, she dated Caesar's mum be4 she died and acts as a mother figure to Q,A and C)

Also, if you wouldn't mind I'd love to contact you on a more private space… I have a lot of questions about people who identify somewhere in between the gender-binary spectrum- your insight would really help me develop Andi!

@Jacque Oh, sure! That'd be fun! Sorry I didn't respond sooner. Any questions you have, ask away! I'm not easily offended or anything.