forum COULD YOU CRITIQUE MY CHARACTER?
Started by @SarBex
tune

people_alt 41 followers

@Dayzea group

Regarding Leanna's looks; I think it would help develop a proper image of her by delving deeper into the specifics of her body/face type. For example, commenting on her head and face shape as well as ethnic features, often present in the shape of lips, nose, and eyes and the way they're positioned. Maybe elaborate on her body type? Is she muscled or scrawny? What's her overall body shape? Rectangle, hourglass, apple, pear… Keep her age and occupation in mind as you do this.

I feel like I have a good idea of what her personality is, but you may want to elaborate on what makes her qualified for her job as a protector, especially considering her age and her apparent biases. Would you say she is particularly mature for her age? Or does she have a strong moral compass? Be mindful of her past experiences and how you plan on changing her character as the story progresses. Right now she appears to me as a normal thirteen year old without much significance. I'd like to know what makes her a good choice as the protagonist of the story and what conflicts involving her will make the story worth reading. Would you say she's a biased person? Is this something she must overcome? Is she what you'd consider 'mature'? Will this be accomplished by the end of the story? How will the conflicts the story presents contribute to this?

One last note, though this isn't as important: it'd be appreciated if under 'clothing' you specified what her preferences regarding clothing are rather than what she typically wears. Good luck with your story!

@SarBex

@Reigning4aDay

Thank you so much! That was all really helpful. I'll definitely keep the tips in mind while writing as well as editing her character.