forum Could you critique my character?

Started July 21, 2018 by @Paperok

tune

Paul is a well structured character, however I think it's a little safe. It's a little cliche and thats fine but I think that what would give your character some depth would be giving him a trait that isn't associated with those typical people. Like a hobby like sewing or dancing or something to make him stand out. Because at the moment he doesn't sound like a main character. Give him purpose, a desire (Apart from happiness). Something thats more realistic. Maybe it's to do well at a sport or championship or to show apart of him thats usually covered or to be accepted. Also talk about his dreams more! What he wants to do, where he wants to live. Give him a future. Obviously I don't know the plot of your story but he needs to have some depth and emotion. Also what are his little quirks? Not stereotypical things but weird stuff he doesn't tell anyone about. Also does he have a job? If so where? Is he funny? Whats his grades like? Does he have any other friends apart from Jessica? Does he see a future with her? If he does, what's the worst thing that could go wrong? How does he react to stress? What gives him personality? Sorry if this is a little harsh by the way.

Alright that makes sense, needs more detail. Also the whole needing more dreams bit is the point of his character, yes doesn't know what he wants. He doesn't know if he wants to spend the rest of his life with Jessica or what he's going to do with his life. That's why at the moment all he sees in his future is he wants to at least be happy. As I type this i realize that since you didn't understand that it proves that there isn't enough detail lol.

Thank you for the critique! It was very helpful!

Note: I know you didn't ask but the plot is about Paul and Jessica's relationship as it evolves, breaks, and fixes itself throughout their highschool years.

Ohh cool!! Glad I could help!

For what it's worth I like him, I mean Mia is right that he is "safe" but personally it's a bit refreshing since this might be the first time on this site I've seen a 14 year old character who didn't have mutant powers or a crushing emotional trauma. He sounds normal, he sounds like a good kid, a little simple can be nice sometimes, personally at least I don't think every character has to break the mold everytime. I mean I was 14 once too and I understand Paul not really knowing what he wants to do or where he stands on thing like politics and issues, and that's tough in highschool when everyone else acts like every little thing is the most important thing in the world. Paul sounds real. Things like grades and jobs and many of the other things Mia listed are going to be helpful for you to know if you don't know them already but I would discourage you from adding on a random character trait solely because you want to make him overtly different from everyone else. And I'd be wary of confusing a character being common with a character being undeveloped, your story about the ins and outs of a teenage relationship sounds simple yeah, but just because it isn't packed with subplots and fantastical characters doesn't mean it's bad, the sweetest things in life tend to be the most simple ones.

It's worth a lot. I appreciate that whole paragraph lol. Also, your comment on Paul's normality is exactly what drew me to start this whole story thing lol. I'll get to see how I can improve on Paul. Thanks for the rant? that's not really a rant it was very informational and helpful. I have a better understanding of how I want to treat Paul as a character. I'll call it an inspirational speech, thanks for that.
ALSO, Paul may seem a little boring because before he meets Jessica he sees his life as repetitive; the same things every day. It's when the two of them get comfortable with each other when they start to explore what they can do with themselves and how much fun they could be having with their lives. I should probably find some way to explain or at least imply that in the profile. THANKS AGAIN

Oh my God you're so welcome, I'm honestly really happy I could make you feel better (Plus Paul reminds me alot of one of my own favorite ocs for whom I also felt the need to defend his normalness, so lik, I feel you so much) I'm a huge fan of larger than life heroes too but I feel like there's never enough love for the nice kids and the normals guys.
I think you're gonna have a great story, good luck.

This is pretty nice to see. Such a normal character. It's weird. I like him. The personality type tab would be a good place to establish some of things Azure and Mia were talking about. Good luck.

@Azuresbend I could not agree more.