forum Could someone critique this character?

Started July 10, 2018 by Deleted user

tune

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Invalid Character Critique as much as you'd like, and anything you think I should add in would definitely help me develop my character. Thank you!

I could take a look! Only if you want me to though

Of course! Thank you.

OMG this character sounds AMAZING! I love his name, and the name of the death god, and Haala (underworld?) Whatever story he is in, I would love to read it!

Aw, thank you! I've been creating my own religion/mythology for a novel I will (hopefully) write one day.

Is there anything I should add in or change in his mannerisms, personality or motivations?

Is there anything I should add in or change in his mannerisms, personality or motivations?

Hm.. I don't see any. I think he has a great conflict going, Judging these souls, of people, humans, as a new god with no experience outside Haala (Im assuming. please correct any wrong assumptions)
so he's like the ultimate middle man I guess, no biases, but then also being curious.
He's like a cute little godly cinnamon roll (: I just wanna squish him.

I just looked at him

I literally have no critique

Is there anything I should add in or change in his mannerisms, personality or motivations?

I am wondering why he interacts with the souls so… harshly? No sympathy or empathy. (I know it said more elaboration on that later, but… I id read it like 40 mins ago, that is a lot later man.) Could it possibly be because he doesn't want to connect with the souls, he wants to Judge based on facts, not emotions? You mentioned he can… acquire(?) the memories of the souls? Does this affect his job as Judge?

Ooh, and who did the art for you? It's so amazing…

Sorry, I was on a small road trip with some friends, but I'm back now. But yes, Daus is one of the younger gods and he hasn't had a lot of experience out of judging souls in Haalá. He's noticed a lot of things based on the memories he's seen, how life is so rough for mortals, but he still wants to see it himself. Though, one of the main reasons that he is so emotionless is because the God of Death is almost always supervising everything to see if Daus will mess up or anything along those lines (It's still a work in progress, though if you have any ideas I would love to hear them)

And to answer the rest of your questions (and to ask some questions of my own)…
I found the art off of Pinterest, but to help me come up with ideas, I just look up 'god aesthetic' or 'greek gods.' Or even just some minor greek or Luthanian gods off of the web.

Also, should Daus have any biases towards people on earth, or should I change his appearance up?

I just looked at him

I literally have no critique

Is he alright? Do you see anything that I should possibly change?

He's one of my newest characters, and I'm trying to go for a quieter, stony personality, yet pretty innocent and curious.

Yeah you did great my guy

He's awesome

Thank you! :D

Also, I was wondering if Daus should have some sort of sibling. I was debating whether having it be the Goddess of Fate and Fortune or the Godess of Revenge and Deception.

Deception might balance the two out since Daus is Luck and Balance. Any thoughts? (Also, if you guys have any characters that you want me to look over, I would be more than happy to do so)

Sorry, I was on a small road trip with some friends, but I'm back now. But yes, Daus is one of the younger gods and he hasn't had a lot of experience out of judging souls in Haalá. He's noticed a lot of things based on the memories he's seen, how life is so rough for mortals, but he still wants to see it himself. Though, one of the main reasons that he is so emotionless is because the God of Death is almost always supervising everything to see if Daus will mess up or anything along those lines (It's still a work in progress, though if you have any ideas I would love to hear them)

And to answer the rest of your questions (and to ask some questions of my own)…
I found the art off of Pinterest, but to help me come up with ideas, I just look up 'god aesthetic' or 'greek gods.' Or even just some minor greek or Luthanian gods off of the web.

Also, should Daus have any biases towards people on earth, or should I change his appearance up?

Well, maybe he feels humans are somewhat akin to monsters, because I'm sure with every soul something bad or terrible must have happened sometime during their life, and maybe it just makes Daus see them as a little cruel and manipulating, but then he also sees the good, and that makes him curious because he's never seen anything like that (the other gods are assholes?)

And I love his appearance, so I would vote, please no

Ooh, I love that idea! That would make sense, that based on memories, he sees the bad and good in the world, though he still wants to see it himself. Perhaps the gods are always using the mortals as their pawns and think of them as lower, though Daus has met mortal souls firsthand and thinks of them differently.

And don't worry, I won't change his appearance. xD

So… will this take place on Earth or Haala or both?

I'm still deciding on plot, but I've been developing the religion so far.

Do you guys have any characters that you want me to look over because I'd be more than happy to do so?

im not gonna lie….
ive got a thing for Daus ._.

Lmao, same here though.
Is there anything I should change up?

Do you any other gods done ? Their character charts.
Ooh religion for the humans, or for the gods in the underworld?

Honestly, you absolutely nailed it. ive scoured his profile again and again and i really cant find anything that needs to be adjusted or cleared up. i absolutely love him AND how you described him!

i know you were talking about giving him a sibling…what about two? one sibling standing for everything good, and one for everything bad (since hes balance)

Thank you so much @Hac_KinG! I think that would honestly be a really good idea for Daus to have two siblings since he's the balance.