forum Could someone critique one of my characters?

Started March 31, 2019 by Rory

tune

Would anyone be able to critique my Alpha Bitch character, Cecelia? Cecelia Bishop

I'll give it a shot.

1. I'm not sure how almost too slender due to an eating disorder amounts to physical perfection. But I think you mean everything besides that so it's just a matter of phrasing it slightly differently.
2. Do you mean europian by caucasian? I had to look it up since I didn't know what it was. if you do maybe put it behind it for future critiques.
3. If it's not anorexia, what is it? and how does she try to keep her weight? no calories? nothing with sugar? nothing with gluten? only raw foods, which is a really bad idea for humans because our bodies can't break down uncooked vegetables as easily and meat and fish might contain bacteria?
4. what weakness?
5. so… her flaw is that she doesn't make the effort to make actual friends and takes her insecurities out on those around her? While hiding behind the typical mean-girl mask?
6. I'm not entirely sure if your prejudice is, in fact, a prejudice. I always treat it more like a general idea they have about something that might not be correct. What you've written down is good information to have though.
7. Paying people to play a tuba behind a fat person fantastic. sounds great.
8. you have the same picture twice in your art gallery.

This seems like a pretty okay basis to build upon for a character. If she's very important though you might want to expand a bit on how she treats specific people. Is she sort of kind to her minions or is she just as much of a bitch as that first queen bee? What is her prefered method of taking down rivals?