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Could someone critique my character? please?
Started by
@Paperok
tune
@CWTurtleOfFreedom
It sounds good! Just a few things:
- She is incredibly light for 5’8’’. I am 5’3’’ ish and that’s how much I weigh.
- Her personality is a bit underdeveloped. She’s angry and yet comes off as a kind, caring person? That is incredibly difficult and requires a certain mental state, which she may have, but from what I saw, doesn’t.
- Who is Ashley?
Besides that, it’s nice! I like the detail you put into her background. Happy writing!
@Paperok
Yep its noted under "body type" that Carissa is unhealthily thin.
She isnt angry against others, she just has a cynical outlook on things. But you are right "Kind and caring" is a bit of an overstatement but not really a lie, I suppose a better way to put it would be she acts nice and as sociable as she can be but when she's in the first person her internal monologue comes out condescending but not hateful in any way.
Ashley is the "Ruler of the galaxy" She took up the throne from her father twenty years ago and the face Zatoi used to continually drive himself and Carissa for revenge against the government. Thank you for the review. :)
@CWTurtleOfFreedom
Okey dokey no problem. But just fyi the average weight for a girl of 5’8’’ is about 140 pounds, which means that she would be incredibly weak. I might up it at least a little bit… sorry I’m not trying to be pushy