forum Could someone critique my character?
Started by @tisyaboi
tune

people_alt 42 followers

@vidari-is-tired-in-advance group

Hi there! This is my critique of Hekket!

In motivations, one of the ones you have listed is ‘fun’. Maybe elaborate what he considers fun? Is he a thrillseeker, or does he enjoy playing pranks on people? Something like that would help, I think. Also, in his flaw section, you wrote that he can’t keep secrets. Does this have any consequences on his job as the queen’s protector? Does he accidentally spill secret information to people who aren’t supposed to know, information that could put people in danger? Does the queen know of this, and does she avoid telling him of confidential information? This could have a really big impact on Hekket’s job, so I would detail that part a bit more.

Those were my two biggest things with your character. I really like him, and he seems like a fun character to work with.

Hope this was helpful!

walter

they seem very cliche and like a bit of an edgelord. they're a loner bad boy demon bounty hunter, I think this character will work well if you can write them in a meta humor self aware way. I'm obviously not trying to be mean