I finally finished some characters from my book and I would like to have them critiqued so I can make them better and more believable! I want to make this the best book I've ever written, and that begins with solid characters and plot as a foundation.
Thank you!
I'll have a go!
First, Ryndry. So you don't know her age? You don't even have a range that she could be in? Whoa, she is like really tall xD i've never met a girl taller that 6'0 lol so thats pretty cool. She is underweight though for being that tall. If she is that tall, she should be around 180-210 lbs! Her hairstyle is a bit confusing. What do you mean by 'half up half down?' I think you can give her a few more mannerisms. What does she do when she's nervous? Pace? Touch her clothes. How does she speak to people who she doesn't like? Rudely? Quietly? Add more! Mannerisms, prejudices, and flaws make characters so much more human! Hmm, I think you can give her more flaws too. If her motivation is money, then one of her flaws will most likely be money. Explain!! What are Fyphs? Tells us! Wow, you skipped a lot in the social section, which is a no no! You might not think some of those things are important, but in all honesty, they are. Those things not only explain the character to the readers, but it helps the creator understand their character more! Tell us her favorite color! Her favorite weapon! What her religion is! Ahh, her background is bare! It tells us almost nothing about her! What was her relationship like with her parents? Did she have any friends? Did she have any siblings? Pets? What was her favorite thing to do as a child? How old was she when all this happened? Anything major happen in her life that made her the way she is? How did her mothers death effect her? How did she get where she is now? What did she live off of in the mountains?
Ok, now, Pondiar! She is also a little underweight. She should be somewhere between 130-160 lbs! You say her hair is long and wild, how long? Does he have more flaws? Is he lazy? Constantly sad? Childish? His background is a bit bare too… Explain! How was his relationship with his parents and siblings? Did he have any pets? What about friends? Any major childhood events that shaped him into ho his is currently?
Good luck and hope I helped!
Thanks! I'll fix all that today hopefully! you helped a lot, actually