forum character improvement
Started by @barely_alive
tune

people_alt 2 followers

@Lavy-the-Nerdy-Sci-Fi-Birdy

Alrighty.
LOOKS
You've got it pretty good here, but you could definitely go into further detail. What shade of brown is his hair? Where are Leon's piercings and stretch marks located on them?

NATURE
The mannerisms aren't mannerisms. They're personality traits. Mannerisms are habitual gestures or ways of speaking or behaving. More flaws would be ideal. Same goes with Talents and Hobbies. Hobbies don't even have to be something they're good at, they just have to enjoy doing it.

SOCIAL
You're all good here, but I'm curious as to what 'Homemade Suicide wings' are.

HISTORY
What year was Leon born? Also, the background doesn't tell me much. What was Leon's childhood like? Did their parents accept their gender? Any particular events that formed them into who they are?

FAMILY
Who is Leon's father? Even if he isn't a major role in the story, he should be included. Also, what kind of bird is Pidge?

barabara

Overall I'd say flesh out Leon more. Go into what makes them distinct and different from others. Show who they are at the core of their being. You have the bones of a character, but now you need to add the spark that makes Leon human. I guess what I'm trying to get at is that Leon needs more detail. Try to go through and explain the answers you already have.
Hope this helped! Happy writing!