forum Character Critiques? I'll give critiques if you critique mine! :)

Started February 25, 2018 by Gisela

tune

Here she is! Invalid Character

I like this character a lot. You gave a lot of thought into her backstory.

That is my character

Gisela, what is a "Pruvian"? And "focused on work" wouldn't really be an identifying mark, more of a personality/trait thing. She seems very dedicated. I feel like in her flaws you should add "overhardworking" (and no, that is not a word), where did she get her notebook? Can you give examples of where her knowledge would be a weapon? Long background you got there, I like it. Add a bit more mannerisms, your mannerisms aren't very "mannerismy". Examples of mannerisms would be 'wiggles fingers when nervous', or 'squints at people when skeptical'. Go to "I'll critique your characters" forum by Celestial-B for further critique. Love your character!

She's nice! :3

penguibunny, I'm not supposed to critique your character, but I feel like I have a few suggestions, so here goes:
What's her weight? For her height, if she's slim, she should be around 150-160 lbs. If she's "fat" it should be around 180 lbs. How long is "long" hair? Does her family have a country they originated from? She needs flaws, and mannerisms! Flaws like "unorganized", or "lazy", I dunno. Mannerisms are habits/ways of behaving. My mannerisms (in real life) are 'tucks hair around ear over and over when bored', 'braids hair when nervous', and 'rubs hands on legs when cold'. I suggest you add some to your character! And her talent is "she can write"? Can she write really well? Or is your story in a place where people don't know how to write? Maybe her talent should be a bit more unique. No occupation? Judging from her other descriptions, you should add her occupation as "schoolgirl" or "writer". Why did her mom marry a supervillian in the first place? Maybe add more on her background.
Nice character! Some space for improvement, but otherwise, awesome!

I'm super new here and I don't really know what I'm doing but I'm willing to try something new so here goes!

Corinne, that character is on private! You can make it public by clicking on the triangle dots when you first view your character! That way we'll be able to critique your character.

Oh gosh I'm sorry! Thank you for telling me, I had no Idea, It should be changed now.

You say "when blind her eyes are green"… does this mean she is blind sometimes and has sight other times, or is it that she was able to see before and now can't? Corinne, more mannerisms! You haven't told too much about her personality, but she seems like a kind, determined girl, except she's narrow minded? Some of her flaws contradict what you've written in other descriptions. Where did she get that scar on her cheek? Writing everything in her journal is not a hobby, but a mannerism. part of your personality description should be used for the Background. Awesome character! I've got a lot of questions about this world that Theria lives in. Is it Earth? Magic and spells exist here… hope I helped!

@penguibunny I really love your character, but her personality doesn't seem to be fully developed. Try to add more into categories and really develop into a full person. Try to give her more flaws so she seems more human. When you're talking about her appearance, try to give her some identifying marks, like what she is usually wearing, or if she has any birthmarks. If you take the time to expand on the basics you have written for her, you will have an excellent, fully fleshed character that will come alive in your world.

Celina Qu, sorry for taking so long to respond. Thank you so much for critiquing my character! Shes kind of new and I feel like I have a lot of ideas of who I want her to be but I haven't really figured it out yet. I really appreciate your advice, it helps so much!

I just made the character, so some help would be appreciated.

Corinne, you're very welcome!

@Stevie So sorry! I just made her public so you can view her now.
I really like your character! he is very well rounded and you seem to have put a lot of time into his personality. The only thing I would change is to add more detail into his appearance. What color purple are his eyes? Are they lavender, violet, or a deep midnight purple? Details like this will help readers fully visualize your character. Otherwise, you seem to be going somewhere with this character and it makes a really promising story.

@penguibunny I noticed you changed the weight of your character, probably due to @wake-read-eat-sleep and their advice, but if someone is 5'6, 164 lbs would not be considered slim. Unless you want her to be plus sized, then that weight is perfectly acceptable, I would recommend changing her weight to 120-130 lbs. When creating characters I find it useful to consult a BMI chart to help you pick a weight that would fit your character.

I'm 5'6 and I'm about 164 pounds or so and I'm not plus sized

My friend is 5'5 and 165 pounds and only slightly fat.

Sorry I don't know much about the weight thing and it may not have been my place to comment, but I'm 5'8 and 125 lbs and i have a pretty average weight

Are you serious?